THINGS THAT IRRITATE A SANE PERSON

How many of these fit YOU??

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.
You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing. A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up. Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing. You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

Now after all that aren't you glad that you learnt how to be patient ? *smile*

BOYS

A heart is not a play thing,
a heart is not a toy,
but if you want it broken,
Just give it to a boy.

Boys they like to play with things
To see what makes them run,
But when it comes to kissing,
They do it just for fun.

Boys never give their hearts away
They play us girls for fools,
They wait untill we give our hearts
And then they play it cool.

You will wonder where he is at night
You will wonder if hes true,
One moment you will be happy,
One moment you will be blue.

If you get a chance to see him
Your heart begins to dance
Your life revolves around him,
There's nothing like romance.

And then it starts to happen,
You worry day and night
You see, my friend, you're losing him
It never turns out right.

Boys are great, though immature
The price you pay is high,
He may seem sweet and gorgeous
But remember, he's a guy.

Don't fall in love with just a boy
That takes a lot of nerve.
You see, my friend, you need a man
To get what you deserve.

So when you think that you're in love,
Be careful if you can
Before you give your heart away
Make sure that hes a man.

GIRLS

There are many good things in life,
like cars, and money- indeed!
But if you want something confusing,
a girl is all you need.

A girl doesn't say what she wants,
but you're somehow supposed to know.
If they want to do this or do that,
stay here, stay there, or just go.

Then there's the time, you all know what I mean,
that monthly little joy.
That lets them abuse the crap out of you,
just for being a boy.

If you ever dare look at another girl,
they seem to scream, go on, and panic.
But watch how fast they ignore you,
at the sight of that queer from Titanic.

They give you questions like "Am I fat?",
and "If you could go with one of my friends, who?".
There is no answer, face the facts,
you are definatly through.

They take nothing and blow it up,
and make a tremendous fuss.
So girls, no matter what you think,
you are just as hard to understand as us.