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Children With Behavioral Problems

There are many reasons and illnesses, disorders and genetic gene inheritances that can cause behavioral problems in children as well as learnt behavior and life experiences that a child has been through.

I was having a conversation with my neighbor last night, and his words were echoing my sentiments.
He has a son of around 12, who has ADHD, and has behavioral problems, as well as having special needs.

I have adopted 2 young children both with special needs, and both with behavioral problems.

He was commenting to me how children with a 'look' of special needs, gets full support, and sympathy, whilst children that have behavioral and special needs whilst 'looking normal' actually get looked down on, whilst at best, the parents get looked at as though they are the worst parents in the world, and at worst, actually get verbal abuse from other people who jump to conclusions that somehow it is the 'parents fault'.

It can become really frustrating, as we found out last year when our youngest son, who we were fostering at the time, was screaming so loudly and for so long, that we got thrown off a public beach for disrupting other tourists! ... Oh the embarrassment!

People through ignorance can make great assumptions, and come up with the totally wrong answer!

I won't ever give up on hoping that some improvement can be made, as slight improvement has already been made, but it certainly is no 'easy road', and I felt sad for my neighbor that he is still going through it with his son at the age of 12.

Has anybody else got any experience of this?

Problems Behavioral Children

Oh yes, many times DianeC. Probably not to the point of getting thrown out of the beach (and I guess that's the main reason we do not go out at all) but we always get the "look" even more in a society like Trinidad where children are expected to be like statutes.

Our son has ADHD and behavioral problems and people just do not understand. Before becoming a mom, I used to get very frustrated on how some kids were behaving and my experience with my own son has humbled me to the point that I now can sympathize to how a parents feels. I was at a supermarket with my son in Argentina and this woman was fighting with her little girl who was obviously ADHD, she was misbehaving really bad and the only thing the lady kept saying was "I'm sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry" to everybody. I just smiled back to her and I told her that there is nothing to say sorry about and then I went further explaining her my son's condition. You had to see her face of relief, she felt so good to know she was not alone and she even said that the next day she had an appointment with a neurologist to see her daughter. Sometimes it only takes a warm smile to make someone feel better.

I have reached the point that I really do not care what other people think, of course I do not want to make anybody uncomfortable because of my son's behavior yet the little comments you get now and then about you being a good or a bad parent is something I do not take on because only my husband, God and me knows what we go through.

Edited: LDS_forever on 4th Jun, 2006 - 8:43pm

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Thanks for sharing that LDS, you are quite correct in the fact that it is difficult, but at the end of the day is not anybody's business.
You also pointed out quite correctly that you do not end up going out, and this is the same for us. We have found that your social life suffers, as you don't like to put your children/child in a circumstance or setting that they don't feel comfortable in.
This is one of the main reasons why we take every opportunity that we can to take the children out in the hills, and they can have a good run around without having to worry about upsetting other people, or having to put limitations on what they can or can't do.
We are fortunate that we can do this I know, and I can't imagine how difficult it must be in Trinidad where you are expected to have your children stay silent-- I'm sure we'd end up being deported!
at the end of the day though, there is always going to be somebody out there disapproving, I can't tell you how many times people have come up to us and told us that our children need a good slapping.
I have learnt to grin and bear it, and grit my teeth!
It certainly makes you more tolerable of others!