Rita Rudner Quotes

Rita Rudner Quotes

Rita Rudner Quotes

Consider the following quotes by Rita Rudner:

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."

"Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before."

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."

"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping."

"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times."

"When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"

"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious "