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Banned From Wal-mart

BANNED FROM WAL-MART

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Wal-Mart

Wal-mart Banned

This is one guy I would go shop with any time! Perhaps Klar could join in.

Banned From Wal-mart Games Forum & Humor Jokes

Oh My Word!

That is so hilarious! I laughed so hard I am hurting on my sides! I won't even begin to tell you how many of those I would do (not ALL of them!) especially with my almost 15 yr. old in tow! My favorite pastime is to take him to Wal-Mart just to see how obnoxious I can be. I even had one lady give me a high five and said she was happy to see another mom embarrassing her son! I tell him, I will make you a deal! You don't embarrass me and I won't embarrass you--intentionally anyways!

TOO FUNNY!
Thanks!

Wal-mart Banned

I can't imagine anyone actually doing those things but it'd sure be good watching from a distance!

Wal-mart Banned

That was really funny I would definitively like this guy! At least he didn't just stand and sulk next to his wife the whole time like most husbands do! To bad it's not real.

Message Edited... Persephone: Please keep your messages free from extra characters that are not alpha / numeric (numeric should be for stats) while using good grammar. You will notice most Posts here are written without the use of 'chopped words', excessive smilies, slang, dialect(s) or Teeny Bopper scribbles.

Banned From Wal-mart

I actually had a boss that did a bunch of those things, especially the condom one. He would also put personal lubricants in people's carts. Every time we went to the store, we would leave laughing at something. Man, I miss working for him .

Banned Wal-mart

It seems highly doubtful that this is a true story, all the dates and the detailed accounts of what happened, the store would have banned him from the store before this, or even have called the police on him, saying that he was trespassing, and being a troublemaker.