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Friends Who Brag

I have a question because my sisters and I dont agree so I would like to know your views. How do you know if a friend is bragging about stuff and things she does and when she's just sharing whats going on with her life? I have a friend who is constantly telling me where her family went to vacation, what they bought, how lucky they're to live where they live blah blah blah blah. I mean that sounds like bragging you know what am I saying? In her mind shes just sharing but it bothers me is that the way she goes about it you know what am I saying? She knows I aint have no money and with school and stuff I hardly do fun stuff but doesnt stop her from asking how was my week and what was the last time I did something fun even though she knows the answer I get the feeling she asks me because she wants me to ask her how was her week so she can brag all about her "perfect" life you know what am I saying? I stopped asking her and I know it bothers her because she wants to do it. I'm waiting to see what excuse she will bring to talk about it.

So what do you guys think? Is she bragging or just sharing what she does? And for the record, I aint jealous but more concerned of whether shes in some sort of competition with me and if for some reason she wants to let me know her life is better than mine you know what am I saying?.

Edited: SuzieSu on 28th Aug, 2009 - 7:52pm

Brag Friends

For what its worth, she probably doesn't even know that what she is doing is bothering you.

I would suggest that you be genuinely happy that she has found success, and try to be happy that she has the resources to do the things that she would like to do.

Being offended, because she chooses to share her experiences with you, is counterproductive. Be sincere and say things like " wow, that sounds awesome," or "Aren't we blessed to be able to share our life experiences." without a hint of sarcasm. Be grateful for her success. Consider your blessing that you have in your life and share them with her (a book you read, an experience you had with your family). It is not a competition.

Take this advice for what its worth (its free isn't it). You have a great life ahead of you.

Friends Who Brag Health & Special Psychology

Oh you're missing the point dbackers. Who said I'm not happy at her success? One thing is to be happy about another person's success and another is to listen to it 24/7 you know what am I saying? In what way listening to how cool is her new laptop or her latest vacation to Hawaii is building our friendship? Thats all she talks about, material stuff you know what am I saying? I knew someone would think that I'm either jealous or unhappy that she has success but doesnt not so I just want her to talk about HER not the stuff she gets you understand?

I'm not offended I'm annoyed! Since its not a competition then why does she get jealous when one of our friends in common gets a newer car than she does? And she tells me you know what am I saying?

I appreciate your opinion dbackers I just think you misinterpreted the message.

Edited: SuzieSu on 29th Aug, 2009 - 12:22am

Brag Friends

If you don't want to listen to her, why do you do so?

Either enjoy the discussions you have with her, or find a friend who does not make as much money. Maybe some poor bum sleeping on the side of the road, who never goes on vacation and whose laptop is a card board box.

No body talks to someone 24/7 and if she gets jealous about someone else's new car that's her issue. Why are you letting yourself be bothered by a discussion of a vacation. Friends talk about their life, including their vacation. If you are annoyed, that is an issue on your end and an attitude adjustment that you may need to make. Responsibility in this issue falls entirely on you.

True friendship is showing interest in another person's life, their interests, and not being annoyed when someone tries to share experiences, successes, and failures. A false friendship involves envy, annoyance at another's success, and not wanting to listen to a friend's experiences. Maybe you need to reevaluate what you want out of a friendship.

Rather off topic, but... The only person that can make you feel anything, is you. It is all about attitude.

Brag Friends

SuzieSu, some people are just like that. Some like to share about their lives with others and others do it to show off. Those who do it to "brag" as you term do it out of insecurity and there is probably several things lacking in their lives. It is up to you to evaluate what is this scenario since we don't know your friend.

I know of acquaintances who like to brag all the time, I let them because I know there are a couple of things in their lives that is not all that glamorous and I know they have the need to show "things are fine". You may call it denial but I am not the one who would wake them up of their dream or tell them to stop bragging. If you do, you would be seen as envious even though you may well not be.

Just take a deep breath and let her share and think that maybe you may be doing a service to her by listening.

Friends Who Brag

Sounds to me that Dbackers has said it pretty well. You can not be a good friend to someone and get annoyed by what they are saying. A good friend of mine is not very well off and he is always telling me about some of the things he has done and how meaningful his life is to him. I have also told him about my recent vacation and fun times I have had with my family. He listens and even asks me questions about the trip. Asking if I stopped to see this or that along the way. Many times I have to tell him No I did not see that. I think I have taken second and third trips to places because of the sites he has told me about. I know he has not been there but I think he enjoys the story and some of the photos of us being there.

What I am trying to say here is share in your friends trips. Ask her questions about the trip. Listen to her as a good friend and share your days and weeks with her. To you it may bot seem like much but to her it could mean the world.

Friends Brag

Oh wow now I know why you have this position (and maybe dbackers as well?) because you guys are doing the same thing. I mean how do you "know" your friend likes to see the pictures of your recent vacation he can be well pretending plus what kind of friend knowing the other friend cannot afford something shows off pictures and stories of their latest adventure? You know what am I saying? Its like bragging about your fancy house to someone who lives in the streets. I know you guys dont see it eh but its wrong to me. If someone ask then you can share and doesnt have to be this long story it can be well a passing comment such as "yeah, it was fun" without all the added drama of pics, videos and your latest acquisition you know what am I saying?. That's bragging whether you all wanna believe or not.

Friends Brag Psychology Special & Health

I hear a lot of this around Christmas time when they tell me about the most expensive gifts they got. I'm like Ok, nice, now let's talk about something else.