I believe that I didn't know what love truly was when I got married. I know now what love is and its difference from lust, at least to me and in my minds eye.
Love is dedication and loyalty to someone or something you have a relationship with. This can be a sport, an object, or a person. I believe that if you are willing to sacrifice yourself for it, then you love it. I am willing to dead so that my wife or children could live. That qualifies my love.
If you look at someone and are physically attracted to them, that is lust. Its not to say that you cant lust after someone you love, but it would be odd to lust after an object or sport.
Either way, the dedication to be with and be loyal to someone no matter what, no matter how bad, no matter how hard (disregarding abuse) defines a persons love for someone, in my opinion.
It's easy to tell the difference between love and lust. One can always tell when one feels sexually attracted. However, if one does not also CLEARLY feel love for the other---it's easy to fool oneself, that's why I capitalized "clearly"---then as the relationship proceeds, the initial sexual feelings may turn into lust. If you begin saying insincere things in the hope that the other will fall for you---or even if you are totally honest, and invite the sharing of intimacy without true, and COMMITTED love---then lust is operative.
Persephone: There is no need to be so sexually specific - read the rules of this Community
Lust is a manipulative emotional state, in which one gives the other person only enough compensation to justify fulfilling one's own desires at his or her expense. Lust is completely focused on the self.
Love is a state in which the comfort and happiness of the other person is a higher priority than one's own conditions. Therefore, the success, happiness, and well-being of that person increases the happiness of the one who loves him or her. Love is focused on the edification of its object, not the objectification of another person.
In relation to the three situations mentioned in the beginning of this thread, real love could mean different things:
1. Dating - respecting the virtue and feelings of the other person, rather than taking advantage of racing emotions for temporary physical gratification.
2. Courting and wanting to marry - respecting the wishes of the other person in relation to whether and when to marry, especially yielding to his or her appropriate, righteous wishes, even if they are not one's own vision of perfection.
3. Separation or divorce - loving each other enough to make reasonable efforts to make it work, then not dwelling upon and repeatedly dredging up ill feelings if the split does happen. Making an amiable agreement, rather than suing each other for every penny. Loving the children enough to remain close in proximity and emotion, so both parents can still participate in the children's lives. Of course, this may not be workable in situations of danger, such as abuse.
The Topic: Difference Between Love & Lust, How do I know if I am in love or in lust?"
Everyone, is trying to be too intellectually analytical!
It is very Simple!
Love is an emotional yearning, Lust is a physical desire!
|Love is an emotional yearning, Lust is a physical desire!|
I believe that everyone at the beginning of the relationship feels lust has it was said earlier in the thread lust is a physical attraction, we all feel a physical attraction at first, then has we get to know the other person love CAN turn into love and emotional desire for anothers well being.
|Lust is based on self-gratification|
|Love is based on caring about others|
Ah, that *is* a hard category. But in my opinion, love is a list pages and pages long, including:
Willingness, and not just willingness, but WANTING to do anything, including dying for your loved one/lover.
Illogical proof that it isn't just the brain with the power.
Not necessarily unbrakeable, but unbrakeable by outside forces, and VERY difficult to break at all.
Torturous happiness; being away from him/her is like leaving your heart, or, perhaps having it wrung out.
Agh, I'm not in a very romantic mindset right now (which is rare) so, unfortunately that's all I've got.