I get what you mean about the child's perspective. And I agree to a point, My parent's where not the "be there for you" types. They were more the....expect you to know better types because they've yelled at you enough about it. I more or less learned about the parent I didn't want to be from them.
Could it be possible.... That not only is it important for the parent to make the attempt to be the parent, but its just as important for the child to attempt to learn something, whether it's what to do, or what not to do?
I've seen wonderful parents....with spoiled self centered brats. And I've seen wonderful people come from horrid parental backgrounds.
Its kind of a 50/50 shot. Right?
Yes, however I feel that when it comes to parenting the child is just a child so its the parents who have to figure out how best to teach rather than the child figuring how best to learn. True every situation is different because like you illustrated sometimes there are parents who just don't know how to teach properly. Oh where is that parenting manual ;)
(laughs) yes, that wonderful imagainary guide to everything...
Sadly I think elves have hid it within that pot of gold, you know, the one, that cereal guy keeps swearing is at the end of his rainbow.
Sigh, you can never trust men....especially little green ones.
You're right it is not the child's responsibility to make everything out to be a life lesson. And no parent is perfect.
I think the most anyone can do, is their best.
While praying for the best and preparing for the worst.
For me you are a successful parent when you feel you have done everything you could do provide for your children in every way possible. This means there is no room for guilt later.
Just look how I turned out and you'll know my parents did a great job. ;) Seriously though if you can be happy and be the best you can be because your parents gave you that confidence and the knowledge to make it happen then that's successful parenting for me.
In my opinion being a successful parent means knowing when is time to step back. Preparing our children to life is the most difficult and most important task for a father. We teach them to walk, to talk, to eat and so on but can we teach them to face the world? We need the courage to let them make their own mistakes and thus learn from it. The world is not fair nor forgiving and that's a lesson that they have to learn when still young, when we are still here and ready to help if anything goes wrong. A failure is a better teacher than a hundred successes and we have to allow them the right to make poor choices and fail. Maybe looks cruel but if we always back them up they'll never grow up and learn to defend themselves.
Well how did they turn out? That can probably tell you if you were successful or not because I don't know what other real measurement you can use.
A parenthood's success is determined by how much a parent loves his child. How the child turns out is irrelevant. If you child becomes a failure & you still have love for her, then you are a good parent. Nothing else matters.