I vote to simply not measure it. Your kids will lead their own lives whether you like it or not. Just because your kids turned out to be failures, it doesn't mean you were a parent. They were just bad kids.
I don't think there are "Just bad kids". Usually kids are good but something triggers emotions that causes them to not follow what their parents have in their best interest. Once that's addressed (whatever they're facing) then kids will be good.
I believe it depends on a lot of varying factors how children will grow up and parents have a lot to do with it but not everything. From chemical imbalances to genetics to a good sense of morals to environment, to situations and life experiences, and the list goes on. You can't measure a parent completely for how a child will grow up or act. I believe that each individual person is different. I believe that love is the key. Hope, Faith and Love.. But the greatest of these is Love.
Recently, I heard a minister of religion say that successful parenting means your children no longer need you when they are adults. At first that took me aback but as he explained more it made sense. He said that our job as parents is to teach children how to live independent lives in all aspects. If children return home because they cannot cope with the world then we have failed as parents. As a parent with three special needs boys I think about this a lot. There is a high percentage of children under the autism spectrum that when they become adults still find themselves needing the succor of the parents. Thoughts?
I do think your minister was right but it is not the only stick to measure with. Do you children want to be near you as they age? Are they Happy, liked, and loved?
Adult is not an age it is a level of maturity. That is knowing you own weaknesses and how to compensate for them in order to survive. No one can do all though many of us try. We all stumble and turned to those who know more in different areas we cross through in life.
Autism in a life long road that winds more then others but at the turns as an older child or younger adult do they know who they can turn to for solid advice outside of mom and dad? If they reach this point you have more then passed you have done more then any other parent you know.
I have seen this accomplished and even am one of those they turned to out side of the family cell.
A friend of ours was 27 before they managed this one after working through Spinal Bifida. So hang in and line up you back ups.
How your parenting style affects your child's future
Scientists have released survey results showing that children who receive positive attention and care from their parents tend to have high incomes, high happiness levels, academic success, and a strong sense of morality. Ref. Source 6o.
Are you a successful parent if your child reaches success? I am not sure about this as it creates a whole new debate on what is success in life. A child could be a musician living the poor life but enjoying his music and yet he is successful.
I would like to make the comparison to other matter in life. When are you a successful writer? When someone buys your literature. When are you a successful scientist? When you actually achieve something or have a breakthrough.
Now parenting is like a profession, albeit sometimes an unexpected and unplanned one. The consequences are however the same. Being the social creatures we are, I would say that success is measured in in its relation to our society. A scientist making discoveries that has no bearing or meaning on society is useless as it benefits no-one.
Being a successful parent, and this is of course my own measurement and opinion, is how my child react in relation to the world. By this I am not saying he must conform to this or that ideal. What I mean is that what contribution is my child making to society. If I can raise a child that takes the love I have shown him and pass it on to other people. If he can pass on the good life that I am trying to provide for him and pass it on to others, then I deem myself a successful parent.
Question now is, if I am a bad parent and my child turns out good, am I still a successful parent? That is open to debate, but I say no. The child then turns out good DESPITE bad parenting.