Friends Vs. Relationship

Friends Vs Relationship - Psychology, Special Needs, Health - Posted: 31st Dec, 2004 - 11:48pm

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Post Date: 14th Dec, 2003 - 4:46am / Post ID: #

Friends Vs. Relationship
A Friend

Friends Vs. Relationship

Just wondering, do you think it's right to ditch your friends for a guy (or girl) you're dating? Do you think the relationship, or the friendship, is more important? My best friend last month had a serious boyfriend and just totally started ignoring me. When I talked about it with my other friends, they said, "leave her alone. she's in love." but, it hurt. i thought that we were close enough friends that a guy wouldn't come between us. I mean i didn't let Kevin(my bf, my baby, my love) come between me and her.. Now she wants to be friends again after her boyfriend dumped her(& was a jerk to her). What do you all think?

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15th Dec, 2003 - 3:30am / Post ID: #

Relationship Vs Friends

QUOTE
I mean i didn't let Kevin(my bf, my baby, my love) come between me and her.. Now she wants to be friends again after her boyfriend dumped her(& was a jerk to her). What do you all think?


Well maybe you didn't do it with her but who knows another friend of yours felt left out without you knowing it wink.gif. Sometimes people act weird when they are with somebody, specially women. I don't understand it. It seems like the world starts and ends with that man or woman and nothing else exists. And I actually see that it happens often with women who are in relationships where their boyfriends treat them like trash, they seem to even want to be more with the guy! it doesn't make sense to me, therefore, I'm not surprised that your friend treated you different when she was with the guy and now that she's all alone, she come running to you again. My suggestion: be nice with her but keep your distance, I have experienced that when you tell a person more and more that they're acting silly (specially about a relationship) they get all sensitive about it or they ignore you completly.



15th Dec, 2003 - 2:10pm / Post ID: #

Friends Vs. Relationship Health & Special Psychology

I have found over the years that a man who insists on taking all the woman's time and leaving none for friends and family, usually ends up leaving before too long, or ends up being controlling and abusive. You just can't have that intense of a relationship forever, and once it starts to cool down, it gets boring for one or both of the people involved.

I admire your desire to keep contact with your friends, even though you have a serious BF. Not all women are capable of that, at least in the beginning.

Think about it -- do married women just cut all contact with their friends when they marry? I know some do, but *most* do not. I love my women friends! Very often they can be better than family (depending, of course, on how great your family is!).

Now that your friend has shown you how she acts, you know how she will act again in the future. I agree with LDS_Forever. You can still be friends, but keep your distance.

Roz



15th Dec, 2003 - 9:33pm / Post ID: #

Relationship Vs Friends

I don't know. I think you guys are being a little harsh. Don't throw stuff at me now! laugh.gif:-->laugh.gif

I think it is quite normal for someone who is in the early stages of a relationship to get all caught up in spending time with that person. I know when I have fallen in love, that was the case for me. I have seen it with others as well. What separates this "normal" behavior from obsessive behavior is that in these situations as the relationship settles into a normal, stable relationship, this desire to spend every waking moment with the person subsides.

I think it isn't always the case that a woman who chooses to spend all of her free time initially with a new guy is being "pressured" into doing this by the guy. I agree that if they are, then this is a strong sign of an abuser, but frequently it is just the normal desire of the woman to spend time with someone with whom she is falling in love.

So, I say, cut the girl a break unless this is a pattern and she only has time for you when she has no one else. However, if it is just during the early stages of a new relationship that she is less available, I would call that normal. I know you are probably all going to tell me I am nuts, and I probably am biggrin.gif , but this is just how I see it.



Post Date: 15th Dec, 2003 - 11:37pm / Post ID: #

Friends Vs. Relationship
A Friend

Relationship Vs Friends

I do understand what it is like to start seeing someone an forgetting to make time for your friends. I have had it happen to me and I try and not do it myself but it does happen. Although there are sometimes when a friend will get jealous of a friends bf/gf and say that you aren't spending as much time with them as you should when in actuality they are spending just as much time as they normally do.

Post Date: 31st Dec, 2004 - 11:48pm / Post ID: #

Friends Vs. Relationship
A Friend

Friends Vs. Relationship

I think one must balance thier relationships and their friends. SOmetimes one must combine....or pick a choose..yeh..its toguh :-P

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