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Attention Seeking Person And Tactics Of Attention - Page 4

Thank you Jane and LDS for your responses. Like Jane, I am glad that this community exists and people can discuss things like this in a rational, genuine manner.

I do not think my friend has Asperger's, because she is very good at knowing what other people may be feeling. She is very sociable and holds normal conversations. I do think she has OCDP, however. I am not aware if she has been diagnosed or not, but I have a very strong feeling that she hasn't been. She is one of my closest friends, actually. We have a tight-knit group of four friends, and we know almost everything about each other. Although it is possible she may have kept a diagnosis secret from us, a few encounters lead me to believe otherwise. She is aware that her more eccentric compulsions are not normal, and she will awkwardly address it. For example, we might all be sitting together watching TV or having a conversation, and she might get up and fix something or arrange things in alphabetical order. We will notice this odd behavior, and she will feel the tension in the room and say, "What? I'm allowed to be OCD."

She keeps referring to OCD moments, but from what I've read, people commonly confuse OCPD with OCD. If she had been diagnosed, I think she might have been aware of the difference between the two and would have correctly identified herself as OCPD. I actually once brought it up after she mentioned one of her "OCD moments". I said something to the effect of, "Oh, but doesn't that sound more like OCPD?" She seemed to have never heard of the term and asked me what it was, I said that it was similar to OCD except that people got the two confused. I have a feeling she may have looked into it after our conversation, because a few days later, she, I, and another friend were having a conversation. She said that she didn't have normal OCD, that she was in fact OCD about most things in her life (sort of the definition of OCPD). She mentioned it as if it was something that she had just realized about herself.

I really want her to get help. Because of how uncertain life is, and the way things are always changing, she really has a hard time. She'll try to plan things ahead and get everything in order, only to find later that something unexpected came up and her plans didn't totally follow through. She experiences a lot of unhappiness through it (which is followed by moping, one-worded answers, and usually ignoring me or not looking at me). I have thought about not living together for a fourth year (as you may have guessed, we are in college). I am worried about bringing it up, because out of our group of four close friends, only she and I have been living together. One of the other girls actually declined to live with us because she was worried about my roommate's bossiness...

Obviously, this is a hard decision for me to make. I love her, and if our other two friends decide to live with us during our fourth year, I think I would be able to find good ways of handling my roommate's emotional behavior. But if both of our other friends decline, I think I might have to look for a new group to live in.

Oh man, another long post! Again, I want to thank you for your responses, and I am terribly sorry for having posted in the wrong topic. If this needs to be moved, I understand.

Edited: oate on 22nd Jul, 2009 - 5:55pm

Attention Tactics Person Seeking Attention

Wow, she is really blessed to have someone who loves her and is willing to be her friend despite her behavior. If she seems to be aware of the problem then why don't suggest she visit a psychologist for a proper evaluation?

Rather off topic, but... Please check the following link, one of our boards that deals with Autism, OCD, etc. Make a search and you will find several threads about it. Source 9

Attention Seeking Person And Tactics Of Attention Health & Special Psychology

Best thing to do with an attention seeking person is to give them some 'special' attention like the Chinese say give them all they ask for and then some!

Page 4 Attention Tactics Person Seeking Attention

Name: Jane

Comments: Oate: I think you need to break away. Make it happen. Nothing lasts forever. She's gonna have to learn to adapt to others if she's ever gonna grow up. There comes a point when you have to stick up for yourself. Go for it. Live YOUR life for a change!

Attention Tactics Person Seeking Attention

Name: Aaron

Comments: I know I am late in the timing of this post but I would like to add; Jane, you seem to fit this quite well, is it possible you are seeking attention out of transference, or is she too close to your spotlight? The one remark you made that really got me thinking was the first sentence in your second post.

Attention Seeking Person And Tactics Of Attention

Name: Lyn

Comments: I just recently moved in with a woman that has attention seeking behaviours. I didn't recognize this till after I was moved in of course. She's a nurse and she makes a big deal about it. She makes a big deal about everything. She wears very low cut shirts to bring attention to her breasts. She walks around the apartment in little negligees which I found out from a friend she didn't do until I moved in. She knows I'm gay so I think she is wanting some kind of attention from me about it.

She also has to extol her virtues all the time. She manipulates people to create drama. She tries to make it seem like her problems are insurmountable. She is a classic case of this type of behaviour.

She talks about work or the guy she is seeing or tells crazy sexual stories to try and get all the attention, all of the time. I just want to be able to sit and watch TV without having her prance around in front of me being neurotic.

Her: "Does my hair look weird like this?"

Me: *strange look* "It looks like a ponytail."

Her: "Well I've had several people tell me I look weird with my hair like this and it kind of hurt my feelings.."

..and on and on it goes! It just doesn't stop. I can see the situation becoming really bad especially now that I've made friends with one of her close friends. Her friend has started to realize only recently that my roommates behaviour is attention seeking and she is completely sick of it as well and trying to distance herself from my roomie.

I know my roommate is going to freak out eventually and probably have some kind of temper tantrum because it probably seems to her that I have stolen her friend. *sigh*

When she has made the decision to be pissy there is no consoling her so I don't even try. I just keep my mouth shut. I am a blunt person however and I worry that eventually my big mouth might override my good sense and I'll just tell her straight out she is an attention whore which would be extremely detrimental to my living situation as it's her name on the lease...

I'm just going to deal with it by not dealing with it as much as possible and at the earliest convenience try and find somewhere else to live. I just HATE moving and it seems every time I get a roommate there's some huge flaw that makes the person unbearable to live with. I think I just need to win the lottery and get my own place . Either way I just needed to vent about this. Thanks for reading and I wish you all luck with your attention seeker situations.

Attention Seeking Person Tactics Attention - Page 4

Name: Jane

Comments: Aaron: I'm looking back at this site to get some perspective on a problem I was really struggling with earlier this year - my colleague's behaviour. I have since learned to cope with the situation more positively. Seeing you post, I can only say that if I ever became 'the attention seeking one', it was out of desperation and a need to vent my frustration via some kind of medium. I would counsel you to take that particular sentence you refer to in the context of all the other sentences, and my mental state at the time, which was slightly different from what it is normally, and what it has returned to now. I'm pretty easy going. I like a quiet life.

Attention Seeking Person Tactics Attention Psychology Special & Health - Page 4

Name: Ashleigh

Comments: Do you know why people will do things for attention? I believe that I am guilty of doing a few things for attention but I also believe that their must be a root as to why the person wants attention which is reflected by the type of attention they seek. See for me, when I do it's to feel close to the person that I'm getting the attention from. I don't mean to be an inconvenience to the person but it usually ends up being that way because I'm not thinking about what the other person is doing or has to do and it sometime gets in their way because I leach on to them. I think that the reason that I that I'm an "attention-seeker" is my because of neglect when I was younger. Do you think that my conclusion is correct. That if a child is neglected, that will/can lead to attention in trying to feel close to people. Oh and I have one last question for you, can a person ever stop being an attention-seeker?