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For Those Who Do Not Pay Child Support - Page 2

I agree that the whole system can be unfair, and that in the UK, generally speaking, men do have less rights than women over their children. There have been many protests and campaigns run by such Fathers who have felt mistreated and unfairly branded bad fathers because they have split up for whatever reason with the mother of their children. Many have joined a group for this purpose called 'justice for Fathers', and so far they have managed to keep a high profile.

What I would say, is that children shouldn't be used in the middle of spats between parents, and it shouldn't be a case of 'you can't afford to pay...you'll never see your children', there should be a strategy in place to determine who won't pay and who can't pay--after all, there is a big difference in the two scenarios, and each should be looked at for it's own merit.

I don't know what the answer is for persistent non payers who have no intention whatsoever in paying for their children, but I do feel that this type of parent should be dealt with in a much harsher light than those who can only afford to pay a smaller amount.. in my opinion of course.

Support Child Pay Not Who For

Fiannan, you are mixing issues here. This thread is not about Parental Custody and children located here:

https://www.bordeglobal.com/foruminv/index....9548&hl=custody

This issue is about child support, whether the man in this case is giving full right of custody or NOT, it does NOT matter! They have a kid, they MUST pay. Period. If a woman spends child support on herself, there are legal steps that should be taken, the truth is that the percentage of women doing that is very small, otherwise every child would be starving.

For Those Who Do Not Pay Child Support History & Civil Business Politics

I'm in a triple-experience situation: One, my father didn't pay child support when my sisters and I were growing up (for which he briefly spent time in jail, which didn't do anything good for anyone); and, two, now my daughter's father doesn't pay child support.

Third, with my first child, when he went to live with his father at age six *I paid child support*, even though his father and step-mother had income much higher than mine - nearly four times what I earned - which was garnered directly from my wages.

People court ordered to pay their support should do so, whether or not they think it's right. The courts need to make it more fair to those involved so that one parent is not struggling all the time, whether it's the payer or the recipient.

It's a crime when the children involved suffer for the bitterness and fighting between parents that is carried on in the courts today. Publicly humiliating a non-paying parent may work to help children receive the financial help they need, but then again it may not. If someone doesn't want to pay their support, they will find a way not to do so no matter what efforts are taken to force them into it.

My daughter's father specifically told me if I try to pursue it in court that he will "just disappear." Personally, I'd rather my daughter have a father in her life than not. So he just doesn't pay, and I work long hours to support us. Occasionally he helps us out, but never on a regular basis. In the 10 years since she was born, he's maybe paid out of pocket about $1,000. (I pay twice that every year just for day care.) That averages out to what? $100 a year? Hardly the $400 a month that the court ordered.

What really kills me is that I found out recently that he's moving in with his current girlfriend because "he already pays half her bills" and figures he should live there if he's paying the rent. Why can he afford to help out some chick and not help out his own flesh and blood? That kind of thing just stuns me, I have no idea even how to react.

Page 2 Support Child Pay Not Who For

Seriously, by the courts determining a child support payment quantity but doing nothing to ensure that it is paid only creates problems for the family that was and the court itself problems for the future. The amount of money per month needs to be realistic (what the child needs in consideration with what the person can afford to live on) and there needs to be some insurance that the payment will actually be made before the cases is completed. As the person in charge of the child, you are only looking for what you need to help raise the child correctly. However, as the person being charged, you may be looking at this as the revenge enacted upon you by your former spouse and not even really considering the child. I really believe this is how they look at it. If you look at it this way, why would you want to pay someone every month? That means that "they" win every month.

This has to become less of a decision and something that is done automatically. Either automatically take from paychecks right from the start or ensure that a autopayment system is set up before the case is completed. Heck, even give the choice of how it is done to the person so they can have some say so in this matter. We just cannot expect someone that has obviously "lost" to be excited about remembering and appreciating their loss every month enough to make good on their payments.

Of course, the love of their child should be enough to make this happen and it is for some, but for others, I feel the broken relationship between the spouses results in blame and an excuse not to pay. "I don't have my child with me because of them...they get to see that beautiful child all the time and I have to pay, this isn't right...I am not going to do it...they should pay me...you got the child now, you take care of them and see how important I was...". It is easy to justify bad behavior, so we really need to figure out a way that this does not remain a choice on "to pay or not to pay" each month.

Support Child Pay Not Who For

Far Seer and DianeC, good posts. We do need to examine the issues carefully and then do what is best for the child. While England is sorta part of Europe (some of my British friends argue over this one) most northern European nations have the attitude that both parents should be equally treated by the courts. I'll bet in these situations you rarely find delinquent parents.

LDS_Forever states:

Notice you use the word "man" in regards who has no custody but must pay child support. This merely gives my position much more credibility since this IS the way it usually works. Many men are resentful after being raped by the US court system and unfortunantely they will find ways to avoid what has been ordered by the courts -- even if that hurts the children. Also, there is absolutely no legal recourse if the custodial mother spends all she wants on herself. In fact, if a father buys his son a new bike for Christmas there is nothing legally he or anyone else can do if the mother takes the bike to the sotre and asks for a refund and then uses the money for herself. She does not have to pay taxes on child support but the man cannot use his children or his payments as tax deductions for his taxes.

Change these outdated laws and I assure you that you will see much more money given in child support to the children.

For Those Who Do Not Pay Child Support

Farseer says:

See? By one hand you want the father in your daughter's life but by the other hand, how much he really cares about your daughter's temporal needs? (nobody lives out of love or getting involved in their lives) Did you ever wonder what would happen (God forbids) if something happens to you? He may well disappear, what I am trying to say is simple. We are not talking about a guy who cannot afford to pay (he is paying the bills of his GIRLFRIEND but not pay for his daughter's needs?) *shaking head* I personally would much rather the guy never seen my kid than to have a father who do not care if my kid eats or not. Just my opinion.

Vincenzo said:

It should be but it does not happen all the time, when one parent's pocket is being touched...the "love" goes down the drain.

Fiannan said:

This does not give your position any more credibility, when you quote...quote me properly (the journalist in me is saying that):

LDS_forever said:

I was merely commenting on the previous example not making it a man-woman thing. I think in the exact same way whether is a man or a woman the one that must pay child support.

Oh, you mean they are heartless idiots fathers/mothers who do not give a darn whether their kids eat or not or they have clothes to put on?

I am sure there are ways to stop the custodial parent from spending the money on themselves, I am pretty sure there are only a very small minority doing that hence should not be used with the pretext of no paying child support IF there are no basis for the accusation but again taking in consideration that sometimes they have to pay as little as $400, I highly doubt the parent will spend it buying a Rolls-Royce.

For Who Not Pay Child Support - Page 2

When my first husband's ex-wife bought a Porsche, he went back to court and had the monthly amount reduced. It can and *does* happen.

Sometimes it's not about temporal needs. In this case, it's about emotional needs. She needs that connection with her father and his family, and if she can't have that because I go demanding money, then I'm to blame. I spent my whole life without a father and it affected me terribly, especially in my teen years.

Yes, I work hard and a lot of hours to make sure we have what we need, but we're not starving. She needs him in her life, no matter his payment history. I don't believe in a father having to pay money for visitation. That's just wrong. Children need their fathers in their lives, boys and girls both, regardless of whether or not they pay child support.

Now, in the case of a mother really struggling financially, then the father should step up and pay. I can understand a mother being angry and bitter because she struggles - my mother had that problem. My sisters and I suffered much for my father's lack of integrity. But I think we suffered more because we never saw him. I think we would have seen him more if he didn't have to worry about the money, and my growing up would have been very different.

I think he would take her without hesitation.

I think the problem is, having to put a dollar amount on your kids. Most fathers would take care of their children living with them with no problem. Paying an amount out of pocket is harder for some people.

For Who Not Pay Child Support Politics Business Civil & History - Page 2

JUDGE CORRECT IN JAILING DEADBEAT DAD: TOP COURT

A lower court was correct in finding a wealthy plastic surgeon in contempt of court and giving him a jail sentence after he left the country and stopped paying support to his ex-wife Leaka and their children, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled Friday.
Ref. https://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/20...t-deadbeat.html