Favorite Skill training
Now o' course Primrose th' cook in my home village taught me a thin' or two 'bout pies. But y'know I have learned a lot at th' side o' Stefan. He showed me th' way t'make dessert pies, if ya' can b'lieve it, likes spiced apple and somethin' called merengue. It is enough ta right home about, believe me.
When you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign he expects to get paid for it. --H. L. Mencken
Pale In Comparison Burlesque Competition
"Aye, I was triumphant in th' burlesque games. I outfoxed young Bradley, I did. They give me a bucket wit' a hole in it and says I got to fetch water wit' it. I tells Lady Fluke it has a hole, and she says ye should fix it, dear Brocket. Which was a mite familiar but I paid it not mind. So I sez with what, might I inquire, should I fix it? And she sez I should use a stick. So I found one y' know but it was a mite too big and I tol' her Ladyship so. And what d'ye think, she says to cut the stick. Which I thought was good thinkin'. So I asks her with what I should cut it, dear Lady, us bein' on familiar terms. Then she rolls her eyes an' says I should use a saw. But I saw a problem there, too, as m' saw was dull. At this point her Ladyship was visibly annoyed an' she yells at me t' sharpen it. But y' know th' sharpenin' stone was dry an' it don' work worth a ha'penny when it's dry. So then she gets in a positive fury an' shouts at me to wet it. "Fine" I says. So I take the bucket an' puts m' full waterskin in it and carries it t' the sharpenin' stone an' prepares t' get t' work when darned if her Ladyship don' declare me th' winner an' give me a bag o' pebbles and begs me to never play again.
If gold were plentiful I would
Heavily under the influence, Brockett shimmies around the tavern, booming out, "If I were a rich gnome. Yiydl-diydl-diydl-yiydl-diydl-deedle-deedle-dum. All day long I'd biddy-biddy-bum, if I were a wealthy gnome!"
"I'd buy a great big mansion made of brick and stone,
Someplace just for Fern and me.
An' I'd train til I was Master of the bow,
Jus' to watch the bad guys flee.
Though my name was never widely known,
Thanks to pies my fame has surely grown,
But gods know it would thrill me to the bone
If I were a weal… thy… gnoome!"
Brockett looks around at the silent, staring crowd and laughs weakly, before slowly keeling over.
Courtship of Fern
I hope you are excited about the party, Love! It will be a sight to see, with all of our aunts and uncles and cousins. I have been baking pies and brewing ale from sunrise to sunset. It will be my best effort. Because I must impress your mother and father, you know. This will be the event of the year, and nothing less would do for you, my Princess of the Forest and one day Queen of the Land! For now all will know that we commit our lives to each other for the all Time!.
My conspiracy theory
Brockett hiccups. "Ye know, Stefan, lately th' ale ha' been like water. I think… I think… I think th' Chancellor's bin hoardin' all th' bes' stuff fer himself an' his Mistress!" The gnome belches and sways slightly. "Aye this stuff ha' no kick to it at all. Ya notice how ya never see th' man about town? Always locked up in his fancy offices. Drinkin' says I! I'm gonna go down t' the Town Hall righ' now an'... An' give him a taste o' my… my mind!"
He takes one determined step toward the door and falls flat on his face with an audible smack.
Message to Advisor
It has been a while Cap! I thank thee for the elixir. Mostly after yet another defeat in battle I bin stickin' to cookin'. I guess I jus' need better armor. I am workin' slowly on earnin' gold.
Worship of Apathatsclir
Great Tinker, Great Thinker, Mistress of Free Will, I thank thee for the freedom to choose my path. I can see that the warrior's life is not mine, yet. But I must find a way t' lead that is also a path of Peace. Please help me to see my choices clearly.