Latter-Day Saint Jokes

Latter-day Saint Jokes - Jokes, Humor, Forum Games - Posted: 18th Aug, 2003 - 7:27pm

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Mormon Jokes
Post Date: 14th Jul, 2003 - 4:13pm / Post ID: #


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Latter-Day Saint Jokes

A way to brighten you day is to do what the Egyptians did when they found themselves in the dark.   They turned on their ISREALIGHTS.   and the best known family was the watt 's 65 of them was so smart they lit up the room when they came into it. So if that was good wait until 100 of them come in.

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ADMIN: Too many LDS jokes scattered in this board so decided to give it a special thread.



Post Date: 4th Aug, 2003 - 5:56pm / Post ID: #


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Jokes Saint Latter-Day

here is a thought on how long the fiest day was.  why was adams fist day so long?
HE HAD NO EVE.



Post Date: 12th Aug, 2003 - 5:38am / Post ID: #


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Latter-Day Saint Jokes Games Forum & Humor Jokes

Did you know that women can pass the Sacrament?
....
...
...

How else does it get to the end of the row????



Roz



Post Date: 12th Aug, 2003 - 3:19pm / Post ID: #


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Jokes Saint Latter-Day

Things That Should Be Heard More Often at Church

1. The only problem we had on the scout campout was that after all the meals every scout wanted to wash all the dishes, especially the pots and pans. It was hard getting them to wait their turn.

2. We were enjoying the meeting so much that we didn't even notice that it had gone 15 minutes overtime.

3. We'll go ahead and start the meeting early today since everyone is already here and in their seats.

4. So many sisters volunteer to help with every compassionate service project, that not everyone gets to help each time.

5. Almost the entire ward comes to our child of record baptisms.

6. Our large Deacon's Quorum sits so still during their class and raises their hands to participate, that getting to teach their class is the most coveted position in our ward.

7. We have a hard time filling positions in Relief Society because all the sisters want to teach Primary, especially the Nursery and Sunbeam classes.

8. We love to get to church early because our favorite front bench pew is always taken if we aren't extra early.

9. The whole congregation heard and enjoyed the prelude music.

10. Filling all the positions in Cub Scouts has never been a problem.

11.  Men's Basketball is so much fun! Such good sportsmanship!  Everyone is there to have a good time and there's no fighting.

12.  We have so many people signed up for this month's Temple trip that we need to hire a second (third?) bus.

13.  The family history class will be canceled until new people move into the ward as all the current ward members have finished tracing all of their ancestors.

14.  Heard from the Executive Secretary. . ." Statistics are the same as usual, Visiting Teaching 100%, Home Teaching 100%, Sacrament Meeting attendance 100% Primary attendance 100%, etc.

15. I love being Primary president -- people are always so willing to help out on Sunday and quarterly activities are a breeze because so many adults beg to help out.



Post Date: 12th Aug, 2003 - 3:30pm / Post ID: #


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Jokes Saint Latter-Day

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Mormon Version ;)

Laman: To usurp the authority of his older brother chickens and to  take possession of their coop.

Brigham Young: Because this is the right place in the road.

Thomas: I don't really believe the chicken crossed the road.

Noah: Are you sure there weren't two chickens?

Lilburn W Boggs: I don't care which side of the road the chicken's on, you have permission to kill it.

Elder's Quorum President: It was the 31st and he had to get his Home Teaching done.

Relief Society President: That's where the refreshments were.

The Doctrine and Covenants: "The duty of a chicken is to cross the road when there is no other poultry present."

Mark Hoffman: Would you like to buy the chicken's original diary documenting his crossing of the road?

Lamoni's servants: We don't know why it crossed the road; all we know is it's wings had been cut off.

Martin Harris: I have never denied seeing the chicken cross the road.

Temple Square Guide: The acoustics are so good you can hear the chicken cross the road from any seat in the Tabernacle.

President Merrill J Bateman: I'm not so much concerned that the chicken crossed the road but that its feathers were not knee-length.

Gerald Lund: Not only did this chicken cross the road, but his whole family crossed the road as well. The grand, panoramic story of this chicken's family will be told in my soon-to-be-released 36 volume set "The Cluck and the Glory."

Nephi: It is better for a chicken to cross the road than a nation dwindle in unbelief.

Lorenzo Snow: As the egg is, the chicken once was; as the chicken is, the egg may become.



Post Date: 17th Aug, 2003 - 11:42am / Post ID: #


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Latter-Day Saint Jokes

One day as Brigham young was getting married  the judge asked Brigham do you take these women to be you lawfuly wedded wives and he said "Yes". and then do you women take this man Brigham to be your lawfully wedded husband. and then you hear yes, yes, yes, the the judge spoke up and said  "any of you other women want to get in on this speak up now."



Post Date: 17th Aug, 2003 - 11:46am / Post ID: #


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Latter-Day Saint Jokes

One day as adam and able was walking along this one ridge able looked down at this beautiful valley with lots of tree, fruit trees, flowers, gardens, water falls, and animals . and he commented about it to his father adam and adam said."yes we use to live there until your mom ate us out of house and home".



Post Date: 18th Aug, 2003 - 7:27pm / Post ID: #


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Latter-Day Saint Jokes

What was Moroni's horses name.  in the beginning of the scripture it came out "Woe bea-unto. So his horse was bea-unto.   I know bad joke.



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