WHO SAYS REDNECKS AREN'T REAL BRIGHT??
Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Merry Christmas Buddy!"
You might be a redneck if....
* the directions to your house include, turn off the paved road
* when moving into your new home requires that you also remove the tires from it
* your wife's hair style has ever been caught in a ceiling fan
* a six pack of drinks and a bug light is quality entertainment
When I find the rest of them, I will add them here ;)
You might be redneck if.....
You walk your 12 year old to the sixth grade each day because you are in the same class.
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
Your family tree has no forks.
You and your dog use the same tree.
You've ever painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.