Cute Religious Jokes

Cute Religious Jokes - Jokes, Humor, Forum Games - Posted: 25th Oct, 2015 - 2:17am

Register Login Text RPG Play Text RPG ?

Posts: 7 - Views: 1205 Rating: 1/10 out of 1 Votes
Add Reply Q
Post Date: 5th Jun, 2003 - 8:19pm / Post ID: #

Msslmshdy30
Cute Religious Jokes
A Friend

Cute Religious Jokes

Geared for: Anyone

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God the Father as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They are given the task, and began to type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan indignantly protests, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out." "Very well, then," Says God, "Let us see if Jesus fared any better."Jesus enters a command and the screen comes to life with a vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"

God chuckles, "Satan, when are you going to learn ...Jesus saves!"

Sponsored Links:
Post Date: 25th Jul, 2003 - 12:01am / Post ID: #


Member Graced
***
[?] CPosts: 108
Posts: 195
Avg: 0.0 Post(s) / Day
Activity: 0.9%
[+] Gain: 200.00 FP
Charm: 7

Jokes Religious Cute

One day the Utah basketball coach was playing a team down in Florida and well as he was wandering around the coliseam he looked off in this corner and he seen a telephone behind a heavy fence this perplexed him so he asked the custodian what it was.  and the custodian said it was a telephone that went to heavenly father.  but it cost 500.00 to use. Well he thought and said why not so he talked for awhile and hung up not thinking any more about it.

Then the next city he was playing in was new york and he thought and looked around the coluseam and sure enough there was another telephone behind a fence and so he asked the custodian about it and he said the it was a direct line to heavenly father and it would cost 350.00 well the coach thought and decided to try it. And so after awhile he hung up and didn't think any more about it.

Well then he had to come back to utah and he thought about those phones so he asked the custodian about it and the custodian said yes we have one over there but it will cost  35 cents to use. And the coach asked why so little, and the custodian said ,(Are you ready), its a local call.



Post Date: 4th Aug, 2003 - 3:56pm / Post ID: #

C7sparks
Cute Religious Jokes
A Friend

Cute Religious Jokes Games Forum & Humor Jokes

A reverend, a rabbi, and a Catholic priest were arguing about the proper way to pray.  The rabbi said, "We stand and raise our arms and faces to the heavens and pray.  That is the proper stance for prayer."  The catholic priest said, "We kneel, bow our heads, and put our hands together next to our heart when we pray.  That is the proper position for prayer."  The reverend said, "We sit or stand with our heads bowed, and our hands together interlocking our fingers when we pray.  That is the proper way to pray."

Listening to this argument, a telephone repairman was atop a pole doing his work when suddenly his landyard broke.  His foot got tangled in the straps and was hanging upside when he cried out, "I don't know about you guys, but I think this is a REALLY good position to pray from!!"

Post Date: 13th Aug, 2003 - 5:51pm / Post ID: #


Member Graced
***
[?] CPosts: 108
Posts: 195
Avg: 0.0 Post(s) / Day
Activity: 0.9%
[+] Gain: 200.00 FP
Charm: 7

Jokes Religious Cute

 One day as Noah was loading the animals into the ark one of his sons looked down from the upper deck and saw his father loading 4 African knews into the ark and so he called out "Dad why are you loading 4 African knews into the ark" And his father looked up at him and said,"Well son we now have good knews and bad knews".                    

Get it? Good news bad news.



Post Date: 23rd May, 2014 - 8:55pm / Post ID: #

Jokes Religious Cute

An aunt of mine was teaching Sunday School. She was telling the youngsters about Daniel and the Lion's Den. She had a picture of Daniel standing brave and confident with a group of lions around him. One of the little eight-year-old girls started to cry. The teacher said, "Don't cry. The lions are not going to eat Daniel." The girl said, "That's not what I'm crying about. That little lion over in the corner is not going to get any."

- Saunders Guerrant, Roanoke, VA -
The Preacher Joke Book, edited by Loyal Jones, p. 65

Post Date: 25th Oct, 2015 - 12:41am / Post ID: #

Chris
Cute Religious Jokes
A Friend

Cute Religious Jokes

What did the rabbi who owned Burger King say to customers when they came in?

Yaweh right away.

Post Date: 25th Oct, 2015 - 2:17am / Post ID: #

Malcolmshaw
Cute Religious Jokes
A Friend

Cute Religious Jokes

A rabbi, the pope, and the Mormon Prophet, were out fishing. Things were going well and everyone was enjoying themselves.

The pope, being a little onery, brought up a topic from the New Testament. "So Christ walked on water and Peter walked on water. If we have enough faith we can walk on water as well."

To prove his point, the pope promptly stood up, climbed over the side of the boat, and walked to the shore a mile away. Once on the shore the pope promptly sat down and waited on the rabbi and the Mormon Prophet.

The rabbi was not about to be out done, so he stood up from his end of the boat, climbed out of the boat, and promptly fell into the water. After managing to get back in the boat, he sat there shivering and shaking his head. "It's not possible."

The Mormon prophet, checking on the rabbi and giving him warm blankets and some hot chocolate to drink, made sure the rabbi was comfortable, and leaped out of the boat and promptly walked across the water to chastise the pope.

Upon reaching the shore, the pope his tied up in fits of laughter. The mormon Prophet just stands there waiting for the pope to recompose himself. After he stops laughing, the pope looks at the Mormon Prophet, "Should we tell the rabbi about the stones?"

The Mormon Prophet looks at the pope and says, "Seriously you had to use stones? Could you not have done it as real men of God do it? Stones in deed."

Guest please SHARE: "Cute Religious Jokes" on:

Sponsored Links:

OPTIONS FOR DISCUSSION: About, How, When, Where, Why of Cute Religious Jokes
Options Fast Reply Add Reply Add Poll


No Registration Required!

We welcome input from visitors:
Add Comment As A Guest
Guest, please be considerate by using the appropriate tags as well as checking your grammar before submitting or it will be deleted. See: Constructive Posting Policy.

Tip TIP: Press above button ONCE only. If you come back here via the [Back] button on your browser then you will need to click [More Options] button (below) first in order to re-enable your ability to Post.

> TOPIC: Cute Religious Jokes


Share:

Like:

Donate Compare Membership
International Discussions Coded by: BGID® ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Copyright © 1999-2018
Disclaimer Privacy Report Errors Credits
This site uses Cookies to dispense or record information with regards to your visit. By continuing to use this site you agree to the terms outlined in our Cookies used here: Privacy / Disclaimer,

Top 20 Posters

1. Skeptic - 13 (18.57%)
2. News - 10 (14.29%)
3. Krusten - 9 (12.86%)
4. Adventure - 7 (10.00%)
5. Wizard - 5 (7.14%)
6. Hunter - 3 (4.29%)
7. Ammon - 3 (4.29%)
8. SMF - 2 (2.86%)
9. Opinion - 2 (2.86%)
10. JB - 2 (2.86%)
Win 125 FP: If you are the Top Poster by 12am GMT (8pm Atlantic) then 125 FP will automatically be added to your account! Other Top Posters get 50 FP! To review or learn more about this feature See Details. To rant about Post count go here: Post Count Rants.
Auto Updated: Hourly.
Next check: 7 Hr(s). 59 Mins.
11. Trans - 2 (2.86%)
12. ROK Harker - 2 (2.86%)
13. Alien - 1 (1.43%)
14. Factual - 1 (1.43%)
15. Thundersen - 1 (1.43%)
16. Brandon - 1 (1.43%)
17. Seamouse - 1 (1.43%)
18. UNCforlife - 1 (1.43%)
19. Seraphina - 1 (1.43%)
20. ILoveSMF - 1 (1.43%)

World Issues

North Korea vs South Korea:
versus North Korea Vs. South Korea By Skeptic 24 Minutes Ago
China vs USA:
USA versus China versus Chinese versus Americans The role of its Army, Politics, and Status in the World. By Skeptic 2 Hours Ago
USA vs North Korea:
North Korea Nuclear Weapons
versus USA This country is no Iraq. What is the USA going to do? What will be the outcome? By Skeptic 2 Hours Ago
Do You Know What To Do In A Nuclear Attack?:
Top  Do Know In Nuclear Attack By Dice 21st Nov, 2018 - 10:51pm
USA vs Germany:
Germany versus U.S.A. By News 11th Jul, 2018 - 8:00pm
China Navy:
Chinese Aircraft Carrier
China Navy Beware the new Naval power, they are planning to come on stream with big naval might to match their ground forces. Chinese Aircraft Carrier - Chinese Navy By News 27th Jun, 2018 - 11:14am
USA vs Syria:
versus U.S.A. Is Syria the next Iraq? By Opinion 24th Apr, 2018 - 10:56am
Russia vs. Syria:
Syria vs Russia By Opinion 17th Apr, 2018 - 9:54am
North Korea Military:
Discuss  North Korea Military This Thread is about the North Korean Military itself - the kind of army, navy, and air force they have. By Wizard 15th Jan, 2018 - 9:36am
Japan vs North Korea:
North Korea versus Japan versus War With Japan By Swell 17th Oct, 2017 - 4:17pm
China Military:
China Military Technology Preparing For China. China is growing their military. China Military Technology - can it keep up with the US? By Abnninja 5th Mar, 2017 - 5:25pm