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Close Topic OptionsJoke - Never get a man to say....
Joke Man Say - Jokes, Humor, Forum Games - Posted: 5th Mar, 2003 - 1:24am
Posts: 10 - Views: 1504
Joke - Never get a man to say....
Women would love men to say these things, or in some cases admit them, but they never will...
Men will never say...
1. Yes dear you look fat (They know the consequences)
2. Do you want me to take out the garbage
3. Yes, I was looking at that beautiful woman accross the street
4. Would you like some extra money to go shopping?
5. Can I take care of the kids this weekend?
6. I would much rather play monopoly with the family than go fishing with my buddies
7. I don't care if my boss wants me to work overtime, I am coming home now!
8. No my secretary does not even look remotely cute even though she won the Ms. Beautiful contest
Can you think of others?
Rather off topic, but...
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Remember to post only items suitable for children to read. Thanks.
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say man get Joke
lol all of those are so true!. Here are some more things that you will never get a man to say...
9. When the children get really crancky or hard to handle, men will never say to their wives 'Look at our children!' they will say instead 'Look at YOUR children'. 
But if the kid do something really good then quickly the man will say 'That's MY child' hello??? *shaking head*
10. Do you need anything from the jewelry store? lol 
11. I would love to get up every two hours to feed the baby honey. 
12. I will wash the dishes after dinner  
13. Would you like to go to the cinema with me to watch the latest romantic movie?
Post Date: 18th Feb, 2003 - 12:51pm / Post ID: #
Joke - Never get a man to say.... Games Forum & Humor Jokes
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Post Date: 18th Feb, 2003 - 12:53pm / Post ID: #
say man get Joke
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've
experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few
weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my
husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.
4. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where
there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
5. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he
watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can
help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from
our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the
phone in case they call him.
6. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
7. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not
being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
8. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
9. Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in
private; in public they have to know.
10. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my
pillow, instead of a gun.
11. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually
have jobs and bathe.
12. Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a
combination address book, telescope and piano.
13. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These
seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
14. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the
last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Post Date: 18th Feb, 2003 - 12:54pm / Post ID: #
say man get Joke
15. Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get
a bikini wax.
16. Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
17. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types:
depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not
nerdy.
18. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out
in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable
heaters that snore.
19. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man
walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of
here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
20. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on
the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
21. Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter
and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
22. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
23. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
24. Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
25. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and
creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win?
How's my car?"
26. Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are
we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
27. Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out
of sight of women.
28. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get
out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge.
If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want
to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave
skid marks when rushing out.
29. Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you
look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look
great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."
Post Date: 18th Feb, 2003 - 12:56pm / Post ID: #
Joke - Never get a man to say....
30. Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
31. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
32. Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for
a
woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
33. Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because
their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually
button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but
we also need men to help us get dressed.
34. When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she
will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his
closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
35. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female
menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get
to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
36. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need
instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
37. All men would still really like to own a train set.
Post Date: 5th Mar, 2003 - 12:28am / Post ID: #
Joke get man say....
Before and after taking a shower a man will look in the mirror and no matter how unattractive they are in reality, will compliment himself on his good looks and flex his muscles.
Before and after a shower a woman will look in the mirror and no matter how good she looks in reality, will find all of her flaws and become depressed.
TOPIC: Joke - Never get a man to say....