Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship Needs Special & Philosophy Psychology
When I shared these with some friends they added to them:
"Yelling at the partner, for anything."
"Blaming them for things that happened in their childhood, or before you even knew them."
"Financial abuse, charging the spouse for room and board, (for portions of groceries, house gas, house power, telephone, making them pay their own healthcare, meds., and toiletries.)"
"Spiritual abuse: not wanting the partner to go to their church, read or study the scriptures, then blaming the church for everything that went wrong."
"There is also a lot of emotional and psychological abuse that nobody ever sees and few people talk about. I feel that is one of the worst kinds of abuse since no one ever sees the scars. They are the hardest to heal from."
"What is the difference between someone who is having a bad day and someone who is truly abusive?
Here's the key:
With the bad-moment person, when you stand up for yourself, let them know you don't like it, and you want to be treated better, they will apologize, explain their problem and they will actually change for your sake. Not only that but they may thank you for reminding them of their duty. They are sincerely sorry they hurt your feelings. They make an honest attempt to change.
With the true abuser, your standing up for yourself only makes them dig in even harder. They will try to regain or maintain control by turning the tables on you, making YOU out at the person who is at fault, has bad character, isn't thinking straight, etc. If this ever happens with a person who has wronged you, it is the worse sign imaginable. Run, run, run. This person is a sick-o and will control and manipulate you whenever possible. He will justify his actions and condemn yours.
This person will play mind games on you forever. If the person is a spiritual abuser, the person will even quote scriptures and general authorities to "prove" the point. This will leave you feeling confused.
Remember, the Lord's house is a house of order. If any opinion other people attribute to Him sounds CONFUSING, doesn't make sense, doesn't feel right, then it is getting twisted. The true gospel is simple, clear, easy to understand, and so is this rule: Any person who can't say they're sorry when they've abused you, believes in abuse. So get out before you get so beaten down you can't run."
In my situation I called it Dr. Jekyll vs. Mr. Hyde. We (kids and I) never knew what to expect from one day to the next. We constantly walked on the perverbial egg shells...
I struggled with divorce as I knew how the Lord felt about divorce. Â A mutual friend told me, "Yes, but he doen't want you to be miserable." After that I left for the last time.
If and when you should be in a relationship where all or part this rings true, just remember one thing, you are a child of our Father in Heaven and He loves you and does not want you to be unhappy.
I have a very dear friend who shared with me recently that the last time she saw her ex-boyfriend was after he had choked her so hard she passed out. The next morning upon him going to the bank a strong voice, which she believes was my son, her 'guardian angel' as she calls him, said, "GET OUT OF THERE NOW!" While on his errand the boyfriend called, still ranting. While trying to decide what to do, again the voice came, "GET OUT OF THERE NOW!" She then immediatly grabbed her purse and her cat and left in her pajamas and drove to her parents house two hours away. This girl is one of the sweetest girls I know and if it had not been for my son's untimely death she could have very well been my daughter-in-law.
No one, absolutely no one deserves to be treated like this.
Remember, if this is you, get out or call 911 now!