Honestly, yes, I believe that love is NOT everything. I am in my second marriage now, and am lucky enough to have gotten it right this time. However, my previous marriage was quite the opposite of the heaven I live in now. It was violent, volatile, and dangerous, not only for me but also for our children. She was swift to anger and violence, and I was too submissive to stand up to her. We argued constantly, neither of us quite willing to give as much as we were taking in the relationship. It takes work, from both partners, to make love last. It takes commitment, it takes maturity, and it takes sacrifice, but in the end, what is gained is so much better than anything that may have been lost.
Unfortunately, in circumstances such as mine, love can change over time into something perverted, something ugly. It can turn to hatred, or if not that severe, at least a severe distrust towards the other person. I honestly feel that I cannot trust my ex wife, no matter what I may have felt for her before, because she betrayed the trust I put in her in many more ways than just one. I trusted her with my body, and she broke me. I trusted her with my soul, and she tainted me. I trusted her with my life, and she almost ended me. Any love that I may have felt for her was twisted, because with love for another comes an intimate understanding of who they are, and all I could see was the ugliness within her.
Love can, indeed, be lost, even die. However, in circumstances where it is lost due to the two not being able to be civil or mature with themselves and each other, it is better in the end that they do NOT pursue the relationship until both learn how to properly be in a lifelong relationship.
I hope that this helps...I only wish that I wasn't the person who had to learn these things firsthand. Ah, well, such is life. We live, we hurt, we grow, and in the end, we realize that life is just this: living. There's no secret to it, no mystery behind it. It is simply learning, growing, making every minute better for ourselves and others, for if no one else is happy, how can WE be happy?
"For if you make a man too fearless, so as not even to fear the gods, he is not brave but mad, but if you make him afraid of everything, he is a coward. To be brave, then, a man must not either fear everything or nothing." -- Aristotle. Magna Moralia.
Let us not stray from the Topic at hand. The subject is based on the differences between Love and Lust. Within the past eight pages we have had an in depth Discussion about what Lust is and what Love is... I implore you to read this Thread in its' entirety, in this regard all your questions will be answered. Briefly though, I will say the equation is simple: If some loves you then they will do nothing to intentionally hurt you in any aspect. If someone lusts after you then the possibility exists that they can hurt you. Now, please start at page one.
Quoted from JB
|'How do I know I am really in Love'? Lust is not Love and that is for sure,|
Lust is purely about looks and savagery such as screwing each other but there is no love there. Love on the other hand is an equal balance of wanting to please the person your with mental and physically. If the two can't get along there is no love. If the two can't separate it is love. Like stated before time can alter the way you feel for someone. Lust is really the only thing that I have seen stay the same so far.
I am very well aware that the word lust means something bad to most people, but Webster's Dictionary shows different meanings, not all of them bad.
|pleasure, delight, personal inclination, intense desire, craving, enthusiasm, and eagerness|
As has already been Discussed here in many different ways the purpose of this Thread is based on the difference between Love and Lust. Yes, the dictionary may give terminology for the word 'lust', but you will notice that none of those words signify Love. Using Mousetrails example we could place those words with anything, but you cannot do that with the words that describe Love - that is a key difference. For example being kind is being kind, you cannot change that for something else.
I find that in our society, more and more people view lust as love and most of the time end up falling to pieces. You can not really say someone is wrong if they are expressing their opinion on love for it is their own way of feeling it. Different people have different ways and thoughts upon love.
JB you do ask the hardest question here.
For me the difference between love and lust is, with an object we love we tend to and care for it. When separated the person longs to return to it with every part of ones being. Also a feeling of being content with the item and never truly tiring of it.
With lust one tends to strive for the object obtain it, use it then search for the next once we bore with it. Even just strive to get more of the item lusted after. Also never finding true contentment once the item was obtained.