"Meh Mudda Taught me..."
THINGS Meh Mudda Taught me...
1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
Eg)"Chile, just wait till we get home."
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.
Eg)"Yuh go get ah good cut ass when we get home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE.
Eg)"What di @$$ yuh thinkin bout '? "Answer meh when ah talk to you...Chile....doh talk back to me!"
4. My Mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.
Eg)"If yuh run across de road an' ah car lick yu dong, ah goin' kill yuh wid licks."
5. My Mother taught me THE VALUE OF EDUCATION.
Eg)"If yuh doh go to school, yuh go pick up garbage on de street."
6. My Mother taught me HUMOR.
Eg)"If yuh don' eat food, breeze goin' blow yuh 'way."
7. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT.
Eg)"Come an' tek yu licks' like ah man."
9. My Mother taught me about SEX.
Eg)"Yu tink yuh come from de sky?"
10. My Mother taught me about GENETICS.
Eg)"Yu dey jus' like yuh fadda."
11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE.
Eg)"When yu get to be as ole' as me, yuh go understan'."
12. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE.
Eg)"One day wen yu have children, a hope dey treat yuh de same way."
a next version of mother's love
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me about INDIVIDUALISM.
"I bet if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too!
My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS.
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room!"
1. You get to the airport before the ticket counter staff
2. Everybody is checking in suitcases the size of a refrigerator
3. You can't get on board because somebody in front of you is trying to get a truck's chassis into the overhead compartment
4. At least one passenger is accompanied by an armed Federal Agent
5. You can only get the Punch to read and the centrespread features at least one of your flight
6. There is a sign that reads "DO NOT ASK FOR ANY MORE PILLOWS"
7. Everybody is trying to figure out what the "Port of Embarkment" means
8. Somebody hands a flight attendant a paper bag and asks her to "heat up dis pelau fi mi nuh baby"
9. The person across the aisle brought their own breakfast of shark and bake
10. Everybody breaks out into applause when the plane lands
11. Everybody gets out of their seats before the plane stops moving
12. The air hostess more vex than you if you tell them that you are cold and need a blanket
I HAVE been asked to share this with readers of this column by an anonymous correspondent who admits to not being the original author of what I find to be a rather fetching bit of nostalgia. I find, too, that I am being urged by a fair number of my readers to publish more of this kind of thing. I suppose that there will always be people who hanker for the past even though that past is being seen via a backward glance through a receding and increasingly rose-tinted telescope. I wonder, though, given the better times in which we indutiably live (I mean, how many people, these days, have to grow up on “bush tea’’? ) what is it about the now that makes people long for the then. Perhaps you have an idea that you are willing to share (email@example.com). However, before putting pen to paper or finger to keys:
Close your eyes, and go back . . .
Before the Internet or the Mac,
Before Uzis and crack.
Before Nike and Reebok, before the NBA.
Before Sega or Super Nintendo.
Before burglar proofing and KFC.
Before soca, dub and chutney
Before children’s rights and women’s lib.
I’m talking about hide and seek at dusk.
Looking through the window, sitting in the gallery,
Licking your lips over hops and condensed milk.
Going to Saturday afternoon confession.
Drinking chocolate tea and cocoa tea and green tea and shining bush tea.
Carrying sandwiches in a brown paper bag to school.
Eating chilibibi and press with green and red syrup, with or without milk.
Bathing in cold water from a barrel with a calabash.
Hopscotch, butterscotch, hoop, Jacks,
Police and Thief, Rounders !
Pass-out cricket in the road with a lime
Lying on the floor reading Mandrake and Katzenjammer Kids and Mutt and Jeff.
Borrowing books from the library.
Hula Hoops and jawbreakers and kaiser balls.
Bathing in the rain under the guttering.
Going for walks on Sunday afternoon.
Band Concerts. Window shopping.
Wearing old pants to the beach and collecting sea shells and pretty stones.
Wait. . .
The excitement of catching candle flies in a jar and batimamselles.
Putting the ti-marie to sleep.
Killing birds with sling shot, cooking and eating them.
Pitching marbles, running jockey in the canal.
When a calypso on the radio in Lent would have caused a scandal.
When going to town was a major outing requiring serious preparation.
Spending holidays by your grandmother and aunts.
Castor oil and senna pods at the end of August to clean you out!
Eating caimite and mammy seepote and downs and sapodilla and sugar apple and tying up your mouth with lalay.
Climbing trees,and skipping rope and eating a bucket of long mango.
Making a Christmas tree from a guava branch with cotton for snow.
You thought apples and grapes only grew at Christmas time.
Cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, keeping an eye out for soucouyant and la diablesse.
Sliding down the bannister, jumping on the bed.
Having a pet chicken, duck, rabbit or goat and crying when it became a meal.
Being tickled to death.
Running till you were out of breath.
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt!
Being tired from playing....remember that?
Going to the Chinee shop for Trebor and a penny sweet biscuit.
There’s more . . .
Scratching your mother’s head.
Fighting for the bowl when your mother made a cake.
Churning coconut or custard ice cream on Sunday and licking the palette.
Peeling cane with your teeth.
Remember when . . .
When there were no sneakers, only watchekongs and you washed them every Saturday and whitened them.
When you knew nothing of Rottweilers or pit bulls, only pot hounds.
When a penny was a decent allowance, and another penny a huge bonus.
When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
When fashionable young ladies wore crinoline and boleros.
When your mother wore stockings that came in two pieces and had garters.
When all of your male teachers wore ties and female teachers had buns.
When you had to be rich to have a car or a radio.
When there was no TV and you went to sleep at seven o’clock.
When there was no designer water.
When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.
When every kitchen had a safe with wire mesh.
Milk came in rum bottles and had to be boiled and the cream was a great treat.
When they threatened to keep kids “down’’ if they failed...and they did!
When your mother used to say that your licks hurt her more than it hurt you.
When adults spoke in code so “little ears’’ wouldn’t hear.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn’t because of drive-by shootings, drugs, or gangs.
Disapproval of parents and grandparents, godparents,tanties... was a much bigger threat!
If you can remember any of these things, Well, sir/madame, I swear you must be my age!
True Trini Test:
You refer to all powdered cleaning agents as Vim.
You know the meaning of the word "obzokie".
You can distinguish between "green-tea" and regular tea.
You don't ask.., you AX.
You hang a rosary on your car rearview mirror even if you're not Catholic.
You put ketchup and/or pepper sauce on your pizza.
You wash and re-use plastic and styrofoam cups...to go with the plastic take-out spoons and forks cutlery set in the draw.
Your roof is made of galvanize.
Your father has a cutlass under his bed, or you have one under your car seat.
The word "storm" to you is used as a verb and has nothing to do with the weather.
You adore Miss Universe '98.
You know that blue soap makes white clothes whiter.
You have at least one relative living in England, Canada or the US.
You have walked into a bank, supermarket or some place of business barefoot at least once.
You have cancelled plans because of rain even when it's going to be indoors. Rain is also a legitimate reason to miss work at home.
A rubber is an eraser.
You are able to recite at least one (or several) line from Sesame Street.
You hum "Drink Ah Rum and Ah Ponche-Crema" in November.
You have been to several parties where you have seen the sun rise.
You know someone with a gold tooth or several.
You have eaten pelau out of the back of a pick-up.
You think doubles is the breakfast of champions.
You have found yourself at KFC Independence Square at 3 a.m..
You can sing along to the song "All Virgin Put Up Unna Hand".
You had your first taste of rum from mummy's glass when you were four.
You have hiked to a waterfall with nothing but a bag of hops, a block of rat-cheese, pepper, salt, a boiled egg and a tomato.
You know at least one person with their name on either their belt buckle, earring or their chain pendant.
On at least one occasion you have been told that you have a cold in some part of your anatomy other than your head or chest.
You know that the word "saddest" does not refer to an emotion.
You know the meaning of dhal, channa, anchar, kurma and buss-up-shot.
You've called someone (or been called) chunkalunks, thick ting, family (even if she's not remotely related to you!) , doo-doo, dahlin', reds, breds, horse or partner.
You know what a maxi-taxi is.
You can call your fellow country man by an ethnic name fondly and it would be okay. For example, darkie, reds, dougs, chinee-man, creole, red-man, whito-boy, beti...
You doh like chain-up talk, ole talk, tiefhead or mamaguy.
You have gone to a club at 10.30 to get in for free, even though the fete doesn't really start until midnight.
You get offended when foreigners think Caribana is the original Carnival.
You know what a watchie-kong is.
You have taken the boat to Tobago with nothing but a small backpack, a bottle of rum and a pack of cards.
You love Ato Boldon.
You drive with bright lights at night even when there are streetlights, and if the car coming on the opposite side dims his lights you play you didn't notice.
You don't drive like they do in America or England: neither the right nor the left...Stick to the middle.
You have driven past a police car and shouted the word "Babylon"!
You have shouted the phrase "Yuh mudder..." at someone at least once.
Someone, somewhere, has a picture of you on top of a wall on Carnival Monday.
You can hold a stoups for more than six seconds.
You can pour a rum and Coca-Cola while on a moving speed boat.
You were "false-ripe" when you were a pre-teen.
You have coloured a picture of Mother Lakshmi in primary school regardless of your ethnic Origin.
Your first dog was a pothound.
A 2-litre bottle of Coca-Cola or any other sweet drink is a "jalitre".
You go to the cinema and shout "poy poy!" during an action scene
You know how to do the "rappa dappa" and the "Iwer, Butterfly, Shadow, Wave".
Your fingers get "quaily-quaily' when you've been in the tub/sea/pool for too long.
You remember when the word "sick" was popular.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A HOMESICK TRINI ABROAD IF:
You have three empty rum bottles on a shelf which you refuse to throw away.
You travelled with bottles of chadon-beni to season your food.
All your tapes are of old dub, new dub, old calypsoes, new calypsoes and soca.
You will talk to a complete stranger if they have a Trini accent.
You have pictures of home (Carnival, house limes, beach, down the islands) all over your room.
When you found a good roti shop you almost had an orgasm when you took the first bite.
West Indian Alphabet
A is fuh aloo
B is fuh bacchanal
C is fuh cutlass
D is fuh dottish
E is fuh eh-eh
F is fuh faddah
G is fuh gyal
H is fuh harden
I is fuh is so?
J is fuh jumbie
K is fuh ketch
L is fuh liming (tuh take a lime)
M is fuh muddah
N is fuh nah
O is fuh oh lawd
P is fuh pelau
Q is fuh qualey
R is fuh raggamuffin
S is fuh sagabwoy or skunt
T is fuh tabanca
U is fuh u dutty rass
V is fuh vex
W is fuh wining
X is fuh....um dey ain't nuh rass word startin wit "x"..we vocabulary ain't
so high..oh lawd..lol
Y is fuh yuh
Z is fuh zug up
My favourite trini sayings/words. I love my vernacular.
-: advantage never done
-: after one time is two
-: moon does run till day ketch it
-: water more dan flour
-: basket doh hol water
-: cut eye doh kill
-: common sense make before book sense
-: corbeaux cyar eat sponge cake
-: crapaud smoke your pipe
-: cockroach have no right in fowl party
-: eat de bread de devil knead
-: dog doh make cat
-: every bread have it cheese
Some Words From the Dialect of Trinidad and Tobago
Bacchanal...... rowdy, scandalous behaviour; good party
Badjohn....... a bully
Bobolee... a person who is habitually taken advantage of
Commesse..... confusion, controversy
Cunumunu..... a stupid, foolish person
Dingolay........ to dance with joyful abandon
Fresh-water Yankee.... a person who spends a short time in the U.S. and returns with a heavy American accent; originally, one who acquired the "yankee" accent by simply visiting the U.S. military base or the U.S. Embassy
Horn....... to cheat on a significant other
Jamet......... a prostitute
Lagniappe...... a little extra, a bonus
Lime........ hanging out, having fun, e.g., "Let's go down to the corner and lime."
Maco....... someone who minds other people's business
Mamaguy...... trying to fool someone, or being fooled by
someone, e.g., Your friend is wearing an ugly dress, but you tell her that it's beautiful.
Mamapoule...... hen-pecked husband; a derogatory term for a husband who seems to be controlled by his wife
Mas........ masquerade, Carnival
Obzokee........ awkward, out of place, misshapen
Ol' talk..... empty chatter, nonsense, e.g., "What you're saying is a bunch of ol' talk."
Parang...... originates from the spanish influence when the Venezuelans settled as estate workers on the plantations; they introduced the Christmas celebration of serenading from one household to another; parang is derived from "parandero" or "serenader
Peong..... someone who seems to be addicted to or obsessed with something, e.g., "You're a TV peong," meaning someone who watches too much television
Saga Boy........ a male who is boastful of his physical attributes
Sampat..... an unfair attack, ambush
Screw Pan........ an angry or determined look on a person's face; usually makes them look humorously ugly
Soucouyant...... usually an old woman who turns herself into a ball of fire and passes through a keyhole to suck one's blood; a vampire
Tabanca...... the feeling of hurt when a romantic relationship ends
Toutoulbay.......... a gullible person
Yampee...... mucus found in the corner of the eyes after a long night's sleep
If anyone can remember more you can jump right in.