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Responsibility?

At what age should a parent start trying to show (or teach) their children they need to take responsibility for their actions?  

Responsibility

I think there is not a specific age since all children grow in different stages and everything is based on their individual maturity. As soon as your child know the consequences of good and bad and she can sit down with you and understand what are you trying to say, then I think is time.

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I agree with LDS_Forever.  They have to understand what responsibility means, and that there is a consequence for right and wrong actions.  Most 3 year olds don't understand those concepts, but a 5 or 6 year old probably should.

I read recently that kids *really don't* understand right from wrong until age 8 -- and the author of the article stated that kids shouldn't go to public school until that age (which I thought was interesting being an LDS member).

In my opinion.
Roz

Responsibility

Thanks guys for you input.  :)  I'm having a little problem with my 6 yr old learning to take some responsibility for some of the things she does.  

Farseer said:

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I read recently that kids *really don't* understand right from wrong until age 8 -- and the author of the article stated that kids shouldn't go to public school until that age

Now that is an interesting point too.  Thanks for that little tid-bit as well.  :)

Responsibility

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I'm having a little problem with my 6 yr old learning to take some responsibility for some of the things she does.

What exactly is the problem? any way we can help?

Responsibility?

She has gotten into a bad habit of taking things that are not hers and then when asked about it she lies.  She will break things sometimes and blame it on everyone else (and the everyone else would not be in the same room at the time.  When I give out punishment (which is usually taking away of priviledges of tv and things along that line).  Then she tells me how she doesn't want to live with me anymore and wants to go live with her dad.  I'm at a loss as to what to do...

Responsibility

QUOTE

She has gotten into a bad habit of taking things that are not hers and then when asked about it she lies.  She will break things sometimes and blame it on everyone else (and the everyone else would not be in the same room at the time.

Well this can be due to: she's afraid of what your reaction would be if she tells you she broke something for instance and that's why she lies. I know this because when I was like 6 years old my sister and I broke a vase that my mom used to love, we didn't want it to tell my mom about it but she heard the noise and we were very afraid (is normal for children to be afraid of these things even though you didn't punish her before, is natural in children to feel afraid) without us saying anything, she came and look at vase at the floor and say 'Don't worry girls, it was just an accident, it can happen to anybody'. Sometimes when we nag or make our kids upset when they have done something wrong like breaking something, instead for them to tell us the truth they will lie to us because they're afraid of 'rejection and the punishment' but if we teach them in a loving way that it was an accident and that we want them to tell us always the truth no matter what (and our reaction must support this statement by not getting angry) then they will start telling us the truth. This episode when I was 6 years old, is recorded in my mind...why? because it was important to me that my mom didn't make a big deal about it. The lies will go away once your child trusts you enough to know that she can share with you these kind of things without you getting upset. Praise when she tells you the truth, even when she did something wrong, praise that she trusted you. When she does something wrong, share with her your dissapointed but softly saying that you thought she would tell you the truth.
It is very normal that kids behave that away at this age. I notice Felipe starts crying if his plate fall or his glass fall....why? because he's afraid that I may be upset about it, I just go and say 'Feli, it was just an accident, I give him a hug and everything is fine' I notice he stopped crying every time something falls...which means he accepts the fact that it could happen to anybody.
About your daughter taking things that are not hers is the same thing. Sit with her, explain her in a nice way what do you expect of her, tell her that when she tells you the truth no matter what she has done you're happy and when she lies you feel sad.
About her response about not wanted to live with you anymore, is just frustration and anger, it is normal she feels angry when her privileges are taking away. What's your response when she says things like that?. I would suggest that every time she mentiones that she wants to live with her dad and not with you anymore, you probably should say something like 'Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way. I love having you here and I love you' Love always bring back smilies...

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Thanks Lds for the helpful tips.  I will try to use them.  As for what I say when she tells me she doesn't want to live with me is:  'I'm sorry but that's just not possible at this time.'  The reaction with her telling me she wants to live with him is just heart breaking.  But I know she really misses him too.