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Adjusting to Motherhood

Men think they have it hard from pubity to manhood, but what about women... your normal, then morning sickness, your belly gets huge, you have pain, you go to the hospital and after more pain you have a bran new baby earning you the title of mother.

If you are mother, what tips would you give to those who are thinking about becoming a mother?

From Deseret News:

ADJUSTING TO MOTHERHOOD
You go to the hospital as one -- albeit a bigger than normal one -- and you come
home as two. Every time a baby is born, reminds author Lisa Groen Braner, a
mother is born, or re-born.
https://deseretnews.com/dn/view/1%2C1249%2C...36208%2C00.html

Motherhood Adjusting

QUOTE

If you are mother, what tips would you give to those who are thinking about becoming a mother?

I'm kind of surprised no one has responded to this question before.  Here is my two cents' worth:

Read everything you can about how your body functions being pregnant, about labor, and giving birth.  The more you understand the process, the easier it is.  

Eat healthy, whole foods.  Exercise how you normally would, or if you don't exercise regularly, start a simple program that you can follow and expand upon.

Talk to other mothers.

SPEND TIME AROUND BABIES.

Take a class during pregnancy to prepare you for labor (and make sure you have a reliable labor coach -- not every husband qualifies for this.)

Enjoy the special blessings of pregnancy and motherhood.  Be prepared to be amazed.  No amount of telling you how it is, will ever prepare you for what it's really like.

Roz

Adjusting to Motherhood Reviews Consumer & Travel Family Culture

QUOTE

If you are mother, what tips would you give to those who are thinking about becoming a mother

Read everything about pregnancy and parenthood. There are great books available out there. Try to eat healthy, remember that the cravings and the foods you eat will determine a lot what kind of food your kid will like
Take walks when possible, just because you are pregnant, it doesn't mean you're sick. Proper exercising for pregnant women are also great.
Talk to your baby, rub your belly and enjoy every minute of it!!! ;D
Take every day your vitamins and folic acid to ensure a beautiful and healthy baby!

Motherhood Adjusting

Read books about what could be expected like, changes in your body, the baby development and books along that line.

Rub your belly and read and talk to your unborn child.  They say that the unborn child hears what's going on outside of the mother's womb.

If you are unsure of something going on, ask someone.  That's what the doctors and nurses and even your mother are there for.  No matter how silly the question, always ask.  It's better to know than to be uninformed.  ;)

Take your vitamins and eat healthy meals.  Remember, what you eat, your baby eats too.

The morning sickness will pass eventually.  If you have feelings of morning sickness, try eating some plain crackers.  That usually helps with the stomach upset.

Walking is great for you and your unborn child.

Don't worry about gaining weight, it's mainly baby weight and you usually shed the extra weight off eventually after your child is born.

If your belly itches, try not to scratch it.  Use some mild body lotion and gently rub it on your belly.

Babies require lots of love and attention.

Remember, no matter how frustrated you may become, don't take it out on your baby.  It is a little 'mini-you' so to speak.  Give your child lots of TLC and treat your child like you would want to be treated.  The keyword to being a good mother is patience, love, and caring.  :)

Motherhood Adjusting

I've seen so many adjustments to motherhood, it is simply amazing the transformation that take place!
If I were telling a friend how to prepare:

I agree with the read as much as you can, but watch what you read.  Some books are filled with stuff to make you really be hypervigilant and worried that everything is okay (the "What to Expect when.. series come to mind for that).  Be prepared for babyhood, too.  You will be far too tired to do much reading on the baby period when baby comes, so do some reading before!

Trust your instincts, they generally are good ones.

Get a good car seat, as you will be using it for several years and maybe through several children

You don't need every baby gadget out there.  You should be able to visit a friend's house without having to lug 5 heavy items along.  Baby needs are simple - clean diapers and food and a blanket to keep warm.  More than that and you might not be spending enough time playing with your child.  Toys are great (swings, too) but don't use them instead of being with your baby.

The love many people feel for their baby is OVERWHELMING in its power.  Be prepared to feel like your heart is outside your body

Loving a baby may be different for the man than the woman.  A mother has known her baby for many months before the birth.  The birth itself is when a baby becomes real for many men. Be aware of those differences and give your mate time to fall in love with the new baby.  Let him be a part of the love, too.

Motherhood IS a full time job, on top of whatever job you may already have.  Don't do it to please your parents, your friends, or your spouse.  Do it because you want to do it and NEED to do it.  Kids don't stop needing parents at 3 years of age, nor even at 18 years of age.  Kids need parents forever.  Are you ready for a "forever" arrangement?
Its the toughest job you will ever love!

Adjusting to Motherhood

Ditto to what everyone has already said. I won't repeat it, however, I would like to provide a glimpse of an alternate reality...

The birth of a baby isn't always "conventional". If one plans, or is forced by an emergency, to deliver via C-section, the woman's initial introduction to hands-on mothering is going to be quite different than already expressed. She will need a lot of help, especially the first week.

Pain. We're talking invasive abdominal surgery here. Of course the mother will have some form of anesthesia, usually an epidural. In most U.S. hospitals following the surgery the mother is placed on a self-dispensing morphiene drip. This is usually for about 24 hours. If morphiene isn't used, another pain killer may be administered. Pain management should be discussed with the doctor as medications can be passed on to the baby through breast milk.

More pain. After the surgery, the mother will have a catheter inserted. This is usually for about 24 hours. Removal of the catheter can be uncomfortable. The first couple times emptying the bladder may hurt. Passing the first bowel movement is much like the proverbial "[deficating] a brick" as the stomach muscles are involved. Most hospitals will offer a stool softener prior to ease this a bit.

Awkwardness. C-sections are much more of a challenge here as well. Simple movement may seem to take Herculean effort for a while. Vigorous laughing, coughing ar sneezing may cause physical aggrevation. Nursing will be more a matter of strategic placement (most C-section moms find the "football" hold most comfortable). Walking steadily may take a few days. Carrying the baby during this time might best be left up to someone else. It is also recommended to not lift anything over 13 pounds for up to two weeks, depending on the mother's pain.

One thing I cannot emphasize enough is that if a trusted individual offers to help, take him/her up on it.

Adjusting Motherhood

I hear ya, Fugi! My first C-sec was a nightmare... I couldn't even get out of bed by myself the first two weeks. It took several weeks to get back to normal functioning. And I had a very big (10 lbs), very active, demanding baby, who slept very little. So I took all the help I could get.

That was probably the biggest reality check -- babies don't always conform to your schedule!! And they don't understand basic language, so they can't do what you tell them to; they also don't *speak* basic language, so you can't understand what they are telling you.

However, my second C-sec, in comparison, was a breeze. I was driving and shopping with just me and the baby at 2 weeks -- and she was near 11 lbs at birth. I healed up so fast -- it was truly a miracle.

Roz

Adjusting Motherhood Culture Family Travel & Consumer Reviews

Hey, Roz! Both my boys were emergency C-sections. And my incision became infected both times! Talk about a slow, painful recovery... My first son, Thomas (6) is my special needs child (more about this on the "overprotectiveness" thread). He was failure to thrive at birth, and too weak to nurse. Probably a good thing at that time because of the antibiotics I was prescribed. Colin (3), however, nursed vigorously and as often as he could. Thank goodness by that time there was Zithromax!