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What to do if my son is not ready for pre-school? - Page 2

Farseer, thanks for all your comments. I always look forward to read your thoughts. Yes! I have thought about all these things about pre-school, when I was in kindergarden I had some really tough times because of a girl who was constantly harrasing me and one day she even closed me in a bathroom...I was only 4 years old....pleasseeee! I'm terrified of all these things, specially because my son still having that innocence and sweetness that is common in younger children and I'm afraid that they take advantage of him, that they see him 'weak' and a way to do what they want with him, you know what I mean?. But I do know that in a moment he has to learn to face those circumnstances as I did, doesn't he?. The reason that I was thinking in sending him to a pre-school is to socialize with children, he loves to be around them and since I do not have friends around or family with children, he sees my husband and I all day every day and I can see his need of socializing with kids of his own age. By the other hand, I checked a couple of pre-school near my home, I even have one in front of my home and I didn't feel comfortable with any of them and I do not plan to send him to none until I found a proper one that I may feel good about. I may be starting working soon but I do not know that yet I have to wait some weeks to find out that, I really hope that we can get through with some things we are waiting for so I don't have to, I would love to stay home just taking care of him....
In anyway, my husband works from home so I know he can also watch him I rather him (my son) staying at home than unsafe than going to a place that I don't know how they will treat him. I know some people think I'm obsess with my son, but it's not obsession . I know my responsibility, I love him soooo much and I know my main one is look after his safety.

pre-school ready not son if to What

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I'm terrified of all these things, specially because my son still having that innocence and sweetness that is common in younger children and I'm afraid that they take advantage of him, that they see him 'weak' and a way to do what they want with him, you know what I mean?.

I know exactly what you mean.  My daughter has a very sweet nature, and because of it, other children have taken advantage of her and make her cry on purpose just so they can make fun of her.  It's been very hard for her (and for me, and even her teachers!) to overcome that "softness of heart" and to stand up for herself.  We have all been working with her (this includes me, three teachers, and the director of the school) for two years to help her be stronger and not let people do things to her.  It has been absolutely heart-wrenching sometimes.  For instance, the girl she picked as her "best friend" at school would often tease her in a mean way to make her cry and then refuse to play with her because "you're a baby and I don't play with babies" attitude.  And my daughter just couldn't understand and would be so sad.  It was awful.

Now that she is almost 6, we have worked through most of that phase and she will tell kids to stop doing mean things (instead of crying).  And she has told kids who try to make her do things she doesn't want to do ("you can't dress like that/play that way/talk with that other kid/play with that toy or I won't be your friend") that she will do it her own way, with them or without them.

And this was all in a small private school.  Imagine what public school will be like in just a few weeks!!  At least we have her "toughened up" now so that she can face it.  (Which was the whole point of working with her to begin with.  If I'd had the choice, I would home school, as you know )

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But I do know that in a moment he has to learn to face those circumnstances as I did, doesn't he?

Does he have to do it *right now*?   If you will be sending him to public school later, then maybe you should introduce him to it now.  I know you've considered home schooling, and if you go that route maybe you don't have to do preschool.  There are other ways of "socializing" with young kids that just take planning.

It's so hard when they are so sweet at this age to know you are almost "throwing them to the lions"!!

And then my sweet 5-year-old daughter says to me...  "Mama, do you know why I forgive them?  Because I love them."

(..."and a little child shall lead them..."  ...   "...first become as a little child, because of such is the kingdom of God...")


Roz

What to do if my son is not ready for pre-school? Reviews Consumer & Travel Family Culture

Wow, the story about your daughter is pretty sad. I imagine knowing how loving mother you are, how hard it has been seeing your daughter going through this! You remind me so much of me in the way you are raising your kids! I just love you for that! ;D

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Does he have to do it *right now*?

No! he doesn't have to . He will have to do it eventually if I have to work oustide the home and my husband also. But I pray that God help me to be able to stay at home and help him. I have seen how kids in pre-school are, I was horrorized to see how cruel, mean and violent some of them are! it's just awful!.

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If you will be sending him to public school later, then maybe you should introduce him to it now.

I would like to send him to a private school....prayers and fasting are needed to acomplish this

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There are other ways of "socializing" with young kids that just take planning.

Can you please suggest some?  I don't have friends or relatives here in Trinidad.

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And then my sweet 5-year-old daughter says to me...  "Mama, do you know why I forgive them?  Because I love them

Awwww it brought tears to my eyes!!!!! she's sooooooo sweet!!!!!!!!

Page 2 pre-school ready not son if to What

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Wow, the story about your daughter is pretty sad. I imagine knowing how loving mother you are, how hard it has been seeing your daughter going through this! You remind me so much of me in the way you are raising your kids! I just love you for that! ;D

 Thank you!  I think it's terrific we have such similar ideas about our kids...  is it a coincidence?  I dunno...

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I have seen how kids in pre-school are, I was horrorized to see how cruel, mean and violent some of them are! it's just awful!.

 I *know*!  And it breaks my heart because you know that kids do what they've learned from other people -- usually their parents or siblings.  How awful their home life must be!

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I would like to send him to a private school....prayers and fasting are needed to acomplish this

 I completely understand.  The school my daughter goes to is run by a Methodist church.  We came across it almost by accident (led by the Spirit?).  The teachers there and the director are so loving, all are moms and/or grandmothers, just really sweet Christian ladies.  My daughter has thrived there, where I know somewhere else she might have had a really hard time.  And I was able to qualify for a local "scholarship" of sorts, so that really helped to pay the tuition.  I couldn't have done it otherwise.  I hope your prayers are answered!

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Can you please suggest some?  Â I don't have friends or relatives here in Trinidad.

 One way is to arrange "play dates" or even regular outings with other moms and kids.  Do you know any other moms with kids close to your son's age?  If not, try starting up a group yourself --can you place an ad in the paper, post an ad at the grocery store or at church?  "Mother/Toddler Playgroup - FREE! - Bring the kids, pack a lunch, and meet on the third Thursday of each month at Community Park at 11:00 a.m.  Call 123-4567  for more information and to sign up."  You could even try to get an announcement in other community church bulletins.  It might sound a little daunting at first, but it could be fun!

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Awwww it brought tears to my eyes!!!!! she's sooooooo sweet!!!!!!!!

 I know   My little surprise angel.  Who knew I'd have a baby this late in life?  And she has brought me blessings beyond measure.

Roz

pre-school ready not son if to What

Well, my son is ready for pre-school and is enjoying it immensely. The Teacher said he got a couple of time-outs already because he's very territorial and doesn't like children on his own space so he pushes them but because he is very strong he may them fall sometimes. Any suggestions on how to make him stop pushing others when his reasoning is so basic and limited?.