New Company Policy

New Company Policy - Trinidad and Tobago Jokes - Posted: 7th Mar, 2011 - 6:23pm

Register Login Text RPG Play Text RPG ?

Posts: 1 - Views: 1579 Rating: 1/10 out of 1 Votes
Add Reply Q
Post Date: 7th Mar, 2011 - 6:23pm / Post ID: #


Member Editor
*****
[?] CPosts: 1,114
Posts: 1,217
Avg: 0.3 Post(s) / Day
Activity: 7.3%
[+] Gain: 211.30 FP
Charm: 63

New Company Policy

Effective July 1, 2007

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.


Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.


Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break: (Love this one)

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.



Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management



Post Date: 21 January 2019 / Post ID: #

New Company Policy

, the Topic: "New Company Policy", needs your Reply. Be first to Comment to this Topic in the Trinidad and Tobago Jokes Board! You will then have 1 Posts! International Comment Add Comment now or scroll down for [Fast Reply] box.

Guest please SHARE: "New Company Policy" on:

Sponsored Links:

Do you have any New Company Policy Tips
Options Fast Reply Add Reply Add Poll


No Registration Required!

We welcome input from visitors:
Add Comment As A Guest
Guest, please be considerate by using the appropriate tags as well as checking your grammar before submitting or it will be deleted. See: Constructive Posting Policy.

Tip TIP: Press above button ONCE only. If you come back here via the [Back] button on your browser then you will need to click [More Options] button (below) first in order to re-enable your ability to Post.

> TOPIC: New Company Policy


Share:

Like:

Donate Compare Membership
International Discussions Coded by: BGID® ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Copyright © 1999-2019
Disclaimer Privacy Report Errors Credits
This site uses Cookies to dispense or record information with regards to your visit. By continuing to use this site you agree to the terms outlined in our Cookies used here: Privacy / Disclaimer,

Top 20 Posters

1. News - 15 (30.61%)
2. Draven - 10 (20.41%)
3. Forgewright - 5 (10.20%)
4. Hunter - 4 (8.16%)
5. JB - 2 (4.08%)
6. Ammon - 2 (4.08%)
7. Opinion - 2 (4.08%)
8. ROK Harker - 2 (4.08%)
9. Darkusrays - 1 (2.04%)
10. Reformist - 1 (2.04%)
Win 125 FP: If you are the Top Poster by 12am GMT (8pm Atlantic) then 125 FP will automatically be added to your account! Other Top Posters get 50 FP! To review or learn more about this feature See Details. To rant about Post count go here: Post Count Rants.
Auto Updated: Hourly.
Next check: 12 Hr(s). 59 Mins.
11. Lace - 1 (2.04%)
12. Vegan - 1 (2.04%)
13. Odessa - 1 (2.04%)
14. Pagan - 1 (2.04%)
15. UNCforlife - 1 (2.04%)

Highlights

The Trump Immigration Wall: Political Controversy WARNING you may find the contents of this Thread offensive, view at your own discretion. By Trans 4.1 Days Ago Discuss It!
Global Warming: Natural Or Man-made?: global warming Global warming has been in and out as the "latest" hot topic for many years. It is, according to modern scientists, the result of man-made industrial pollutants, clearing forested areas, agriculture, etc. But now they are thinking it started way before the Industrial Revolution... By ILoveSMF 5.9 Days Ago Discuss It!
Donald Trump: Donald Trump President of the United States of America - Real Estate mogul, Pageant owner and now one of the most controversial men in political history. By Trans 6th Jan, 2019 - 3:37am Discuss It!
Atheists Not To Be Feared!: New look at Atheists and their thinking - Atheism - Athiest - Do Not Believe In God By Walter 20th Dec, 2018 - 9:08pm Discuss It!
Stan Lee: Top  Stan Lee Comics By SMF 11th Dec, 2018 - 1:08pm Discuss It!
Russia vs USA: Russia Tactics versus U.S.A. Vs Russia Russia: 'The Evil Empire'? Are they all that bad or is it just the USA trying to portray Russia as bad because they are a world power with land bigger and a society very different from the USA ideal? By Prodigy 7th Dec, 2018 - 6:31pm Discuss It!
Kissing Up To The Boss In The Workplace: Top  Kissing Up Boss In Workplace By Reformist 22nd Nov, 2018 - 7:05pm Discuss It!
Men In Uniform - Authorized Excessive Violence: Political Controversy WARNING you may find the contents of this Thread offensive, view at your own discretion. By Pureyang 14th Nov, 2018 - 3:03pm Discuss It!
Your View On The Nature Of Interests: By News 4th Jul, 2018 - 7:30pm Discuss It!
Wide Screen Columns: Best of  Wide Screen Columns Users with wide screen monitors can benefit from more content on every page. By JB 14th Oct, 2017 - 12:32am Discuss It!
Offensive Trademarks: Best of  Offensive Trademarks By Abnninja 20th Jun, 2017 - 4:16pm Discuss It!

Updated every: 14 minutes