Surrogate Mothers

Surrogate Mothers - Politics, Business, Civil, History - Posted: 7th Mar, 2004 - 11:38am

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Post Date: 5th Mar, 2004 - 1:06pm / Post ID: #

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Surrogate Mothers

Surrogate Mothers - what do you think about this? Should a woman agree to carry to term a baby for someone else? Are we playing with nature?

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Post Date: 6th Mar, 2004 - 10:47pm / Post ID: #

Surrogate Mothers
A Friend

Mothers Surrogate

i'm not sure. i think if u'd be willing to do that it'd be ok. but i myself never could. i wouldn't want to carry a baby for 9 long months and have to give them up. I want to keep it if i had to go thru that kind of pain. laugh.gif

7th Mar, 2004 - 1:11am / Post ID: #

Surrogate Mothers History & Civil Business Politics

One way to look at it... if you were the baby that turned into an adult and one day found that your 'mom' really isn't your blood mom... wow, I wonder how I would take that.


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Post Date: 7th Mar, 2004 - 2:47am / Post ID: #

Surrogate Mothers
A Friend

Mothers Surrogate

IF one of my sisters or sister-in-laws couldn't have children and I could, and if we were all agreeable, I would gladly be the surrogate mother. I would be able to 'give' the child up.

I don't see it as playing with nature, not in the above situation.

Now cloning is definitely messing with things we shouldn't be messing with.

Reconcile Edited: AGene on 7th Mar, 2004 - 2:49am

7th Mar, 2004 - 3:35am / Post ID: #

Mothers Surrogate

AGene, have you thought about all the possible consequences of such a decision? As the child grows how will this be explained? How will you receive the sperm of the father? Suppose you have a strong future attachment to the child? Most surrogate mothers think it a simple thing, but then somehow it haunts them and they come back for the child.


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Post Date: 7th Mar, 2004 - 5:59am / Post ID: #

Surrogate Mothers
A Friend

Surrogate Mothers

QUOTE
As the child grows how will this be explained?

That I was the surrogate mother, that I carried him for his parents.
When you tell a child from the get go that they are adopted, they don't go through all the trauma that those who are told when they are in their late teens or twenties. Why adults think that children can not handle the truth is beyond me. They can, actually they handle and accept the truth far, far easier than adults do.

QUOTE
How will you receive the sperm of the father?

Artificial insemination of course.

QUOTE
Suppose you have a strong future attachment to the child?

I would always have a strong attachment to the child. It would be double strong, because I would be his/her birth mother and his/her Aunt. I would want to have it in the parents will that if anything were to happen to them both, then I want to be named guardian.

I can not think of a greater love than to be the one to 'help' a sibling (who is unable to bear children) have the child(ren) that they want.

There was a time when my older brother and sister were not successful in getting pregnant. I would have gladly carried a child for them. It would have to have been donor sperm of course, and when I went to my brother and sister-in-law with the offer, they were thrilled that I would do this for them. Then, my Sister-in-law discovered she was pregnant.

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7th Mar, 2004 - 6:23am / Post ID: #

Surrogate Mothers

i too, share AGene's point of view.

I would, at the drop of a dime, be a surrogate mother either for my sister or my brother's child. Explaining the situation to a child under those circumstances would not be difficult. We would explain that his/her parents wanted him/her, but were unable to conceive. He/she would thus be born out of love; as in the love that my family has for one another (to be able to go thru the process), as well as being born out of his/her parents' desire to have a child.

I dont think that a child can have too many qualms about such an explanation. Think about it... there are so many children in this world who were conceived and raised by their birth mother/parents, but yet dont feel wanted or loved. Chances are that, if i were the surrogate mother, i would only be replacing the woman's role, and therefore, the sperm of the father would not be that of a stranger.

I too would have a strong attachment with the child, but what better relationship to have with my neice/nephew?. I know if i were in such a situation, where i could not bear children, that i would want someone close to do the same thing for me.

Of course, my hypothetical situation is among family. I highly doubt that i could ever do that for a stranger. I know it would be very hard to handle in terms of emotional attachment to the child.


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7th Mar, 2004 - 11:38am / Post ID: #

Surrogate Mothers Politics Business Civil & History

QUOTE
I would always have a strong attachment to the child.

This is the point. It is easy to 'say' what you will do, but 'living' with it is another thing. Let me give you the following example: One day you see your sister (the same one that you bore the baby for...) instructing / correcting the child in a certain manner that totally goes against your 'methods'. Your strong attachment then causes you to get angry and speak out against it... here lies a problem.. who is the parent. Now you will simply say... we will have a pre-agreement, but that does not work, people change. You may say we will share parenting - that definitely does not work and can even confuse the child. You may even say that you will just keep out, but your emotional attachment is stronger than your ability to stay quiet, remember... no matter what you say or do, you will always be the mother and it will appear on all the child's legal documents as a reminder. I am interested in the logical way you will handle this?


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