Unfortunately, because of public school, TV, and day care, my daughter knows way more bad things about sex than any 6.5 year old should know -- it upsets me that she has to know anything about it at all, at this age, but to have the bad stuff first is really awful. All I can do now is damage control, try to correct her wrong information and assumptions. We discuss things as calmly as I possibly can, using words she can understand, and trying not to insult her friends (where she gets a lot of her information). And I tell her that, no matter what, I will always tell her the truth so that she can always come and ask me anything. Even if it upsets me at first Unfortunately, the whole concept of "sex" to her is a mystery, so even my explanations are confusing for her. We're doing our best.
Roz
My son just turned 4 years old. I want both my husband and I to talk to him about this issue, not only my husband because I want my son to realize that this is something very natural and nothing to feel embarrased about.
My two boys are 6 & 3 y/o. They haven't had much exposure to "adult" themes yet. They know they are boys, and know what their privates are called, but they don't really know about physical gender differences yet. My husband and I are fairly open to discussing things with them as they arise, in simple terms that they will understand.
One opinion on exposure via tv and movies, though... if neither my husband nor I were around to turn it off... if it were a toss-up between them seeing a tasteful love scene (not p0rn!) and violence- I'd rather have them see two adults in an embrace than hurting eachother.
My sister and I hadn't had much exposure to adult themes either. When we saw a boy and girl kiss, we would say ewww. Still, our father tought us at the age of 7 about "birds and bees" withouot any metaphores. I think it is better to come from you to your child because otherwise, he starts developing hypotheses (our friend had really bad ones I don't think you'd want to hear) and it's just better for him to know the truth.
I concur that I think parents should be the one to teach their children. My 13 year old daughter is in middle school in the 7th grade and middle school starts in the 6th grade here. So, for the past two years, she has been sent home with forms about whether or not we want her to have sex education at school, and previews a bit of what will be taught. We have said no both times and will probably continue to do so. I am very close with her and we have many conversations. She feels comfortable enough to ask me any question. I have also taught her about HIV and aids, hepatitis, and other sexually transmitted disease. I figure that soon I will go with her to a health education class. If I am there, I will know exactly what she is being taught, can answer her questions personally, can review the class with her afterwards, and it gives us a chance to form an even stronger bond. Now, I know that this might not work for everyone for a variety of reasons. I think that this education should be in the home, both parents included like LDS said. There are things that can be done in a situation where a child couldn't or wouldn't participate with a parent, and this can be worked on in a number of ways. But if everything failed as far as what I could personally teach, I would still try to find a way to educate her outside of school I think. There just seems to be a lot of peer pressure, embarrassment, and talk between them afterwards that can often turn into a non-productive conversation, possibly leaving a child confused, scared, and with incorrect information. I feel that I have a lot more control if it is taught somewhere more private than a classroom with the people my daughter has to see every day.
Edited: dawnofthenew on 23rd Jan, 2005 - 6:14am