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Bonding With Your Pre-teen Kid

I was wondering what ideas were out there for actvities that a parent (me) can do with my pre-teen kid. She is only 9 right now, going on 10, but I feel like I should be starting to do more fun things with her now so we can develop a strong bond before she gets into the rebellious stages of her life. Am I too paranoid too early?

Kid Pre-teen Your Bonding

Well there is an activity we do that is great and you can do it as a family, we call it 'Family Home Evening'. Once a week, usually on Monday nights we get together and do something as a family. We use it as a time for just us and nothing else - this means no work in between or distractions. In these little meetings everyone shares what is on their mind, things they want to accomplish, etc. This way everyone is being heard and appreciated for their part in the family.

Bonding With Your Pre-teen Kid Reviews Consumer & Travel Family Culture

Find out what are the things she likes to do and do it together! (even if the activity may not appeal you ). I cannot remember how many kids you have but it is very important that you take individual time to go out with each one of your kids. I remember hearing once that some daughters of a guy thought they were the 'favourite' daughter of their dad, each one of them thought the same thing! and that's because the father made each one of them feel special by saying it and by spending quality and individual time with them. Whatever she wants to do, is a good opportunity to bond together and for her to realize that parents can have fun also!

Kid Pre-teen Your Bonding

Why don't you have one day a week or every two weeks that are Daddy date day. You spend the entire day with your daughter. She decides what the two of you will do. Mommy can help her to decide, then she can write it all out. And you do it.

My Brother-in-law had 4 children and Saturdays were his Daddy Date day. Each child got one Saturday a month. His youngest daughter(8 at the time) wanted to go to an Attic. She had heard the word attic in a movie and she didn't know what it was. But it was what she wanted. So Daddy had to find someone they knew who had an attic. He did, their Bishop. They had a fun day exploring that attic, took a picnic lunch and lots of bottled water!

He and his children really bonded, and Daddy discovered that his children were quite inventive, and quite curious about the world around them.

Kid Pre-teen Your Bonding

LDS is right. Find something that your child is interested in and become interested in it too. I started that with my daughter when she was 6 and it was Pokemon. Yes, you may flinch but it has been great. It gave us something we could talk about together. I learned the names of the different Pokemon we bought some video games and played them together. She has moved into other things now that she is almost 12 and I have moved right along with her. We never have a problem finding something to talk about. Because I am into her music, video games, tv shows right along with her. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not sitting right next to my child all the time watching TV and listening to the radio with her. But I watch and listen enough to keep up with it. I am confident that as she enters her teen years she won't leave me out. I will be there right along with her.

Bonding With Your Pre-teen Kid

There are some great suggestions in this thread. I think that it is very important for fathers to have a good relationship with their daughter(s). In my opinion, you are definitely not paranoid for asking about it and it is never too early to start working on the relationship. The fact that you are asking questions about your relationship with your daughter and are already aware of its importance says to me that you are probably doing a lot of things well. My husband does special one-on-one things with our daughter, but it is not as often as both of them would like it to be. Their bond is a strong one, though, and they share a lot of things together, despite the lack of their alone time. He always tries to make time to ask her about her day and starts different conversations with her. He also reads to her every night. They enjoy the same interests in books and stories, so this is really a bonding time for them. They also pray together at times, and he has told me that those experiences are very special. In my opinion, the quality of time rather than the quantity of time that you spend with your daughter is the most important thing to remember. Being observant as to what she needs, since her needs for your time and attention can fluctuate, is also important.

Bonding Your Pre-teen Kid

As a followup to my posting this discussion, I am coaching my daughter's 4th grade soccer team this spring, and it is very evident that she is excited about me being involved. I took the hint when her team didn't do very well last Fall and she turned to me after the last game of the year and said "I wish you would be our coach. That would be a lot of fun!" It's then when I realized that she didn't want me as the coach so that the team would win, or be better. She just wanted to have fun, and have fun with me. I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time with her this Spring, and hopefully it will help solidify our relationship as she nears her teenage years.