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White Lies? - Page 2

I believe you have to way the circumstances; If someone comes back from surgery with a scar across their face and asks if it is HIDEOUS - how could anyone say YES. But there also exists a phrase BRUTAL HONESTY - If someone asks you if they are drinking too much, even though you know they may get upset, you have to be HONEST.

Do I ramble?

Lies White

I think it depends on the circumstances also. I don't like lying or liars, but I think if it saves someone from being hurt, and isn't going to have any bad consequences,then telling a small white lie in desperate measures is ok.
In my opinion though, there is a definite difference between a 'white' lie, and a normal lie.
I prefer really if put on the spot to try a different alternative to the answer so I don't have to use any white lie at all.

White Lies? Health & Special Psychology

I think the topic is being misunderstood. Usually a white lie situation presents itself as an effect that can have two consequences, and not only as a question.

For example, imagine you forget your girlfriend's birthday, and you only realise it when you are already with her (imagine, at launch). You can simply admit you forgot to buy her a present, or the minute you remember you can continue to act like you don't remember and say goodbye, and hurry back home and do a huge surprise "on the run", so that she thinks you had it "all planed".


In this case is it better to "lie" or to just tell the truth?


What I mean is, usually a white lie isn't an answer to a question, but a reaction to a consequence (can be a question, or a situation).

Another example:
Someone steals an item from a store.
You see it and go speak some sense into that person's mind. That person agrees to return the stolen item, but is ashamed of doing it. You volunteer to speak to the clerk and say that you accidentally walked out of the store with that item(and you do it).

It this situation a bad lie or a good lie situation?

Page 2 Lies White

Hmm, tough question. In your first example about your girlfriends birthday, it could be said that the lie would be selfish, to avoid your girlfriends anger. On the other hand, it is also kind, to avoid hurting her feelings. My personal opinion is that the lie is okay. It doesn't harm anyone, but would hurt both involved, were the truth known.

In your second example about returning the stolen item, I feel this lie is also okay. The end justifies the means. The store owner has not lost his inventory through theft. The thief has felt remorse and hopefully learned something from the experience. And you can feel like a hero for sticking your neck out when it would have been much easier to pretend like you didn't notice a thing.

To me, telling a white lie is no big deal if it is to prevent hurt feelings or for unselfish (and that's the key word) reasons.

Lies White

Kriptonis, in the first example given. I do not see it as a big deal simply because we are just talking about forgetting a birthday but in the second example of the item being stolen, I think the lie is very wrong. What a person may think as "helping" is in fact all the opposite. If you was a kid and you reach home with an item that you stole and your mom finds out, if she is the wise type, she will surely go with you to the store (even though you may feel very embarrassed) and make you confessed and apologize to the store owner. I doubt very much she will take responsibility by saying she did it, because she will want to teach you not only the importance of honesty but responsibility.

In the example given, no item has been stolen because someone spoke to the person in question, nevertheless the person who offered to take fault for what the other person did, is not helping but teaching that not a;ways is necessary to take responsibility for your actions.

A lie is a lie, some may not seem as a huge problem such is the example of the birthday but the second one is serious, the person will not learn the lesson or take consciousness for what he/she have done unless, they do the right thing: Confess and return the item.

Edited: LDS_forever on 11th Jan, 2007 - 1:21pm

White Lies?

LDS_forever, I totally agree with you. If my kid stole something from a store and I found out, I would make him confess, so that he would learn better.
But, imagine it's a total stranger. You don't know if he is a mean person or just someone that was desperate, and couldn't help himself, or even worst, if he has some kind of problem ( Kleptomaniac, mentally challenged, whatever).
Just the fact that he confessed to you ( a total stranger to him) is already a good sign!
Embarrassing him/her even more (and a second time), might have the opposite effect.
And since what's important is that the item is returned, maybe you could consider it your "good deed of the day".

If the other persons steals again or not is up to him, and probably the outcome of this particular episode won't be significant for his judgment, because he is already a grown up and has his mind made already.

I'm not saying it's the right thing to do. I don't consider there is a right thing to do in this situation. Different people would act in different ways.

Makes me remember of the movie "Crash". We all have our side of the story. Don't you agree?

Edited: Kriptonis on 11th Jan, 2007 - 10:59pm

White Lies - Page 2

Embarrassment is indeed a "good" feeling in this case, nothing wrong with that at all. It is all part of the process if he is *really* sorry for what he did, if he truly is even though he may feel shame, he will also understand the need to confess. Covering up with a "white lie" his behavior is not going to solve the problem,.

I guess that's where we disagree, I do not think the item being returned is what matters as much as teaching a person (yes, a total stranger in this case) that actions have consequences. See, the actual acknowledgment of the act to the store owner would have a big impact on his life but you (a total stranger) saving his butt, will be forgotten with no *real* consequences whatsoever. Also, I personally could not consider a "good deed of the day" anything that involves a lie, not to mention that I do not think I would take responsibility for something I haven't done.

White Lies Psychology Special & Health - Page 2

I try to be as honest as possible. I found that people who know that you would give them an anwser that is candid tend to place more value on your opinion, and would seek your opinion more often. I am not saying that I do not tell white lies, some men need to hear it to boost their egos and self confidence. But what I do is instead of blatantly expressing my opinion, I make suggestions regarding what would work better or what can look better.