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Experiences As A Single Adult Rep (31+)

Well, it's happened again. I've been called in my new ward as the Single Adult rep for the Over 31 bunch. First, let me say that I volunteered for the job. And that it took the bishopric 2 months to decide if they needed one or not. I suggested that they run a list of the single adults over 30 in the ward and see how many they had -- and compare it to how many are actually coming to church.

They have 118. Not even 1/10 are coming to church.

I was called the next week.

I really have my work cut out for me.

And on that note, let me tell you about the first Quad-Stake Potluck and Fireside I was asked to conduct, on behalf of the Stake SA rep who would be attending a Regional SA conference at that time.

Five people showed up -- and surprisingly, all were from my ward... maybe because I announced it in Relief Society. The Stake rep lied to me about getting the word out. I have friends in several other wards, and not one had an announcement or a flyer about it. I'm sure none of the other stakes did either.

The good news? Well, it turns out the speaker for the fireside was our Stake Presidency Second Counselor. Our small group turned into a question and answer period -- almost a gripe session. We discussed with our Counselor some of the known limitations of the SA program in our stake. He actually took notes when we mentioned that we have no priesthood holders as SA reps. This is a good sign.

~Roz

Rep Adult Single As Experiences

When I was called as the SA rep, the bishop's counselor told me that the Ward Council meets on the 4th Sunday of the month. Great! So I arranged a little weekend visit out of town for the 3rd Sunday. Well, the week after I was called, we had a new bishop and new counselors called. The following week, I took my little trip out of town. When I got home, there was a message from Saturday morning, requesting my presence the following morning at the Ward Council meeting. Huh? Uh-oh! The new bishopric had changed the date... Ah, well, can't change what happened..

This morning, I introduced myself to the new 2nd counselor in the bishopric and let him know that we should form a ward SA committee, and who the members should be (EQ, HP, RS, SA, and Bishopric members), and that we should meet once a month or so. He seemed pleased to know of it and promised to speak to the EQ and HP if I would discuss it with the RS president. Great!

The RS president said she would find out which of her counselors should be there, and would have her call me as soon as possible.

Hopefully, we can have a meeting before the end of August, everyone's schedules permitting, and discuss a few things. Particularly, what type of regular activities should be held at the ward level? How can we determine who in the ward singles are active, who are not? Is our list of single adults current? (For instance, I know I'm not on it, and I'm the rep!!) I'd like to make contact with every single in the ward to find out what needs they have, what they'd like to see as far as activities, and if their information is correct.

My first planned activity is "Meet the Bishopric" night Just a little ice cream social kind of thing, which would serve two purposes: Get the singles together for an activity, and they can meet the Bishopric and their wives, as well as giving the Bishopric an opportunity to see how many of our singles actually come out to activities like this. It's basically information gathering, while enjoying some fellowshipping.

So far, so good.
Roz

Experiences As A Single Adult Rep (31+) Studies Doctrine Mormon

On Fast Sunday (Aug. 1), I attended a Potluck and Fireside, multi-stake event, at a nearby stake center (not my stake). I was pleasantly surprised to find that the new stake rep in that area was very excited about her calling and had some great ideas. Also attending was the stake rep from the newly split sister stake, and she had some terrific activities already happening. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, and I'm already receiving information about multi-stake and regional events. Woo Hoo! Very encouraging.

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On the ward level, I was very pleased to find that the bishopric counselor had spoken to the various quorums and reported back to me that they would send a representative as soon as we can settle on a date for the first meeting. I'll be discussing that with the counselor this Sunday to compare schedules. Have not yet heard from the RS president, but I'll see her on Saturday at an Enrichment function.

I've made up several copies of an excerpt I took from "Single to the Glory" -- a publication by a very dedicated lady that details what to expect from and how to run a singles organization. Wonderful information! I took from the 85 pages enough info to fill 5 pages (I figure that's all our quorums and counselors can handle in one sitting!) that I will pass out to the various committee members this week, and hope that by the time we have a meeting, all will have actually read it.

Progress!

Rep Adult Single As Experiences

So, I attended my first Single Adult conference over Labor Day Weekend. This is the big semi-annual event in Del Mar, California (San Diego area) that draws literally hundreds of singles from all over the place. There was a large contingent from Utah, another group from Arizona, and even a lady from Germany who happened to be in the area! Of course, lots of folks from the San Diego area, Los Angeles and Orange Counties, and other California locales.

Thursday night (which I was unable to attend) there was a chapel session and a temple session at the San Diego temple. A friend told me this was not well attended, mainly due to the fact that most people had to work the following day and did not make plans to travel until Friday. However, there were enough folks to have the session.

Friday night there was a very well-known juggler/magician/stand-up comic for entertainment. Wow! This guy is not only quite a skilled juggler, he is a genius and keeps up an astonishing monologue the entire time that is hilarious, including getting the audience involved. And to top it off, he's LDS and single!! It was a great time. Then there was the "casual" dance in the cultural hall at the Del Mar Stake building (which is an awesome facility!) that was quite happening Of course, you learn pretty quickly who the "in crowd" is ... and who is not. It was a fun time, lots of dancing, and even a refreshment table.

Saturday morning beginning at 10:00 there was the keynote speaker, a woman who is a basketball coach for a community college. She's tall, *loud*, and beautiful. She's 39, has never married, and has just now found a man who may be "the one." She was an uplifting speaker, funny yet serious about her topic. This was followed by lunch in the cultural hall, a sort of "mix and mingle" event that was interesting.

At 1:00 on Saturday began the workshops and mini-classes, five to choose from. Great speakers and good topics, I really enjoyed the two I attended. Another dance was held that evening, which I did not attend, but heard it was great (as well as the beach mingle afterwards).

Sunday Fast & Testimony meeting began at 3:00 p.m., followed by a potluck dinner and fireside. The F&T meeting was really good, many folks bore their testimony of the gospel, of the singles program, of the good friends they have made with the singles, and it was very edifying. What great strong sisters we have, and our brethren as well.

The closing Fireside speaker was the DJ from the dance on Friday! I was so surprised! He looked like a scruffy, spiky-haired kid -- turns out he has been an Elder's Quorum president for 8 years, and is currently teaching Seminary! A very talented musician, a dedicated family man, and he spoke with authority and conviction and love. It was awesome.

Some disappointments were... seeing folks who do not understand the concept of LDS standard dress, which should be adhered to, even at the casual dances. ... seeing some very sweet ladies be disappointed by having men completely ignore them because they are not physically perfect... having a planned event missed because the assigned speaker did not show up...

All in all, it was a good experience. Allthough I did dance, I'm not really a big fan of the dances, but I enjoyed some great conversations with folks from all over the place.

Rep Adult Single As Experiences

Well, I suppose it was bound to happen. ... The local Stake Rep and I have clashed in a bad way. And I have to confess I've been very stubborn, and not very forgiving.

To make a long story longer... no, wait, *short* ...

I sent out SA activity information to as many ward bulletin specialists as I have email addresses for, to add to their Sunday programs. And I sent a copy of my note and the flyer to the Stake Rep. Honestly, I thought she would appreciate my efforts to help "get the word out" to the singles.

Nope. Wrong assumption. She flipped. Accused me of attacking her. Accused me of undermining her authority. Accused me of not giving her a chance to do her job. And I have been severely scolded by her. And she's taken it (in tears, no less) to the Stake Presidency counselor who is over the Single Adults. Who called the Stake President. Who took me into his office today and scolded me.

So, henceforth, I am not to contact any other wards in my stake about SA events. All information I receive is to go directly to the Stake Rep to disseminate.


If the Stake Rep were doing her job in the first place, I wouldn't have felt motivated to contact the other wards. I wouldn't have *needed* to. But the fact is, she hasn't "disseminated" any information to any ward bulletin in about 2 years. I know, because I've been a ward bulletin specialist for 3 years. There have been 3 big regional Singles Conferences in the past year that have had no publicity whatsoever. I found out about one locally from my friend who lives in San Diego, who heard it from a friend of hers in another county. So how come NO ONE in our Stake knew about any of them?? Because the Stake Rep is not doing her job.

Experiences As A Single Adult Rep (31+)

Sunday was our stake's turn to host the local Quad-Stake Fireside & Potluck for SA (31+). Attendance-wise, it was better than the last one where we had only 5. But otherwise, it was pretty sad. The stake rep did not have any speaker for the Fireside!! She said she couldn't get anyone because it was General Conference. So instead, she had a video presentation about the pioneers -- which was 2 hours long, and our meeting is only 1 hour; halfway through the movie, she turns on the lights and ends the meeting. She had no hymn selected, and had to be reminded about opening and closing prayers.

On another note, there was one young brother who attended for the first time. He looked around at the gathered females and left after about 20 minutes. Nice.

Experiences As Single Adult Rep 31+

It has been quite some time since I posted here! How impolite.

Today was a Temple Day for the 31+ Singles at the Redlands Temple. There was a great turnout of folks (mostly women) from Fontana, Rialto, Colton, Yucaipa, Hemet, Temecula... so happy to see everyone! Afterwards, a group of us went for lunch to a little Mexican place nearby and had a delightful lunch, discussing a lot of things about single life, church activities, etc. We had an enjoyable time, and I met some new friends who encouraged me to attend more of the dances in our area. It's not really my "thing" but I guess I'll try a few and see how it goes.

Our local stake singles' rep has found herself a boyfriend and is losing interest in the program (not that she had much to begin with). So I've decided that, whether I get in trouble or not, I'm going to do my best to make sure the word gets out about our local activities. And I'm going to see about starting a stake-wide SA Family Home Evening. Perhaps if we go with every ward in the stake, we can have a better turn out than just one ward. We'll see, and I'm sure I'll be hearing about it from the Stake President

Experiences As Single Adult Rep 31+ Mormon Doctrine Studies

Be really, really careful about what you *complain* about.

I'm now the new stake rep, as the last fireside on the first Sunday in September we were scheduled to host had to be canceled - our former stake rep did not plan anything at all!

I guess that was the last straw for the stake presidency -- I was called the next week, sustained in stake conference the following Sunday, and set apart on Tuesday. Wow.

I've been in contact with the stake reps from the surrounding four stakes, and we will be meeting soon to discuss next year's schedule of activities. Our stake is hosting the December fireside on the 4th. Wish me luck finding an interesting speaker and getting the word out!