Friends Anyone?

Friends Anyone - Psychology, Special Needs, Health - Posted: 13th Aug, 2004 - 3:40am

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The definition of 'friend' and our perspective of it.
11th Aug, 2004 - 11:46pm / Post ID: #

Friends Anyone?

This may seem like a simple topic, but once LDS and I started talking about it we realized it is not so simple as it may seem. First of all think about the following:

1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you?
2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates?
3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa?
4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above?

Now consider this...

Who decides who is a friend and who is not? In other words, is a friend a person who fits the dictionary term for 'friend' or is it based on your definition? If someone wants to be your friend and you choose not, is the person still a friend to you? Yup, lots to discuss here, I am interested in your deep thought - no one sentence answers allowed ;)



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12th Aug, 2004 - 12:38am / Post ID: #

Anyone Friends

QUOTE
1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you?


Someone trustworthy, who cares about me and my feelings. Someone who is always there for me and someone who I can trust.

QUOTE
2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates?


For me an associate is someone I keep in contact with every day at work or at school, someone that I may ocassionally go out with but not someone too close to.

QUOTE
3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa?


Yes, a friend can become an associate when the person no longer has an interest in you, when you feel you have lost that trust for whatever reason, when the person has done things that hurted you so much that you no longer want to fight to save the friendship. An associate can become a friend, maybe as you keep in touch with this person, you may discover interesting qualities that make you think that person is a 'friend material'.

QUOTE
4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above?


If I am in the middle of a jungle, the monkeys can become my friends but NOT necessarily based on my definition in #1. You see, I think I may choose them as friends based on the circumnstances present, which it doesn't mean that if I was in another situation I would choose them as friends again. Also, it doesn't mean I would necessarily choose them as friends, I don't have to if I don't want to. I do think for sure, that a person is the only one who chooses to have friends or not to have them.



12th Aug, 2004 - 1:11am / Post ID: #

Friends Anyone? Health & Special Psychology

1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you?
A person whom I share interests with, whom I can trust to follow through on things they say or promise (and not just to me but to other people). Someone who finds something *in me* that they can relate to, and loves me even if I'm sometimes a little kooky.

2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates? Sure. Friends are those I can spend time with on a personal level. Friends are more like family than even family can be sometimes. Most people at work or even at church are merely associates or acquaintances.

3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa? Of course. I've been demoted any number of times over the years for poor behavior. :(

4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above? Not based on that definition, no, but they could become friends based on a lower level of relating. They can't speak or discuss the issues of the day, talk about family, etc.; but they are affectionate and can be friends in the way any animal can be our friends.

Roz



Post Date: 12th Aug, 2004 - 6:09pm / Post ID: #

Friends Anyone?
A Friend

Anyone Friends

This is something I've had several long and heated discussions about.

1. I would say that a friend is above all someone you can trust, and second, someone who is genuinely concerned for your well being. Shared interests help, but ultimately it's the first two that make the difference between a friend and associate.

2. Without a doubt I know the difference between friends and associates. Associates are what I'm surrounded with, I've had precious few friends. Associates are people to whom you lie when they ask how you're doing, people that you engage in polite conversation with occasionally, etc.

3. Absolutely friends can be demoted. Spending less time around each other will do it, a breach of trust will do it. There's lots of ways for it to happen.

4. I think I'd rather make friends with a member of the weasel or feline families, but if all I had were monkey's then I think they could be friends, animals can be genuinely concerned for the welfare of people, and they can earn trust. Of course it wouldn't be quite as fulfilling as a friendship with a human, it could still be a friendship.

12th Aug, 2004 - 7:32pm / Post ID: #

Anyone Friends

All interesting answers, but it seems everyone is overlooking these questions:

Who decides who is a friend and who is not? In other words, is a friend a person who fits the dictionary term for 'friend' or is it based on your definition? If someone wants to be your friend and you choose not, is the person still a friend to you?



13th Aug, 2004 - 2:16am / Post ID: #

Friends Anyone?

QUOTE
Who decides who is a friend and who is not? In other words, is a friend a person who fits the dictionary term for 'friend' or is it based on your definition? If someone wants to be your friend and you choose not, is the person still a friend to you?


You decide that, since you are the one who chooses the friend. Every person has a different concept of what a friend really is, therefore there would be as many definitions as people exist. If somepne wants to be my friend and I choose not, the person then is not a friend to me, maybe in the mind of the person I'm his/her friend but it doesn't mean is true.



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13th Aug, 2004 - 3:26am / Post ID: #

Friends Anyone

I agree with LDS-Forever -- we choose our friends. And even if someone makes overtures of friendship, it is ultimately my decision if I consider them a friend to me -- whether or not they consider me a friend to them. I've been burned enough times (and burned in return) that I don't trust very many people anymore, even if they consider themselves my friend.



13th Aug, 2004 - 3:40am / Post ID: #

Friends Anyone Psychology Special & Health

I understand what you mean Farseer. I am amazed at how many people refer to others that do them silly, bad or even evil things as 'friends'. What a misguided sorry state of mind to call someone who seeks ill will against you 'a friend'.



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