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Daishain's D&D 5e: Side Stories - Page 49

"Spells? Oh right, Ox is a great wizard, too! Actually, just so everyone knows, I'd like to offer for consideration that Ox knows literally everything AND I sees literally everything. It should make it easy for you as you run this game, Perry, as you can just assume I know everything about everything that's going on. In fact, all of the other characters can just ask Ox how to do their stuff better! Isn't that great fun for everyone? Anyway, which spell should I cast?"

"While I wait for you to suggest a spell, actually, Ox will set up his tent in the middle of this wolf circle, since he is trapped. No wolves can come in the tent. It's home brew. They take damage of whatever type is most effective for me in the moment."

"I'm still so mad that I rolled several 19's in that last round, by the way. 19's! Can you believe that bad luck? Can we have someone retroactively give me a buff or something, now that I've seen the results of my rolls? This IS Ox we're talking about here!"

"Here are some more rolls, including perception for the next 50 things that Ox might see. We'll just refer back to these if we ever need them, but only if they're good. I'll reroll later if they aren't good. Cool? Could you write them all down for me, too, Perry? Thanks pal."

Edited: Cinder on 2nd Jul, 2018 - 12:54am

Stories Side e Dragons and Dungeons Daishains

Perry lets out a long, painful sigh as he covers his face with both hands now, "Velon, Velon… Velon, friend, you can't roll ahead of time for things, let alone re-roll them later. What are you even trying to perceive right now? And your tent takes over 10 minutes to cast and you're surrounded by wolves right now! How are you going to do that? And we agreed we weren't doing homebrew; we're following straight seventh edition rules here. Ox is doing fine, just relax. Remember, I'll tell you when to roll, okay?"

Perry grabs Ox's sheet, "Okay let's see here, you've got this spell right here that might help called Nap. It would let you make several of these wolves take a nap while you and the party take out the rest. It's really powerful against swarms of weaker enemies. That's just an option though, do whatever you think is best!"

Perry glares at Velon, "And all those previous rolls DON'T count!"

Daishain's D&D 5e: Side Stories Archive Pathfinder / D&D

"Um, Perry, that Nap spell is under the list of spells I know. Didn't you say I had to prepare them to use them, too? Yeah, I didn't prepare any. Well, I prepared my tent, obviously. Best spell in the game, and all. I also prepared this fire jet spell, and the flame fingers, and the fingers of flame, and Indra's Incendiaries, and Baldrak's Burning Ball of Burning. They're mostly all the same but some are more expensive than others so I wanted to diversify, you know? Basically, I'm really smart, dude. Get used to it. I also prepared Bilby's Big Hands. It make someone's hands one size larger. I can't really think of any practical use for it, mind you, but I plan to try to force that spell into every situation in this campaign anyway. You just watch. All will know of my brilliance! Ha! I know this larger list has spells that let you fly, or put up a force wall that can't be taken down, or make the whole party completely undetectable, or track the item you want most in the world, but I honestly can't really think of any use for THOSE spells. Someone also told me that this invulnerability spell would be really good if I cast it on our main fighter, but I'm just really not into that kind of thing, you know? Like, then it's more about the party overall and less about me, and even worse the fighter guy might outshine me! Obviously I'm not doing that spell, like, EVER."

"Well, anyway, since I'm not going to listen to your advice Perry, I hit it. I hit it a lot, and really hard. What I'm going to do though is roll my damage rolls first, like you just showed me. If they are really good, I'll roll a few dozen attack rolls, and if they aren't I might change what I do. It's better to know, right? I mean, I'm here to have fun, so I should just do whatever I want anyway, am I right or what?"

"Oh, and since we see a lot of each other, Perry, here's a little something for you." (Slides gold across board) "I figure since I'm here a lot and have been rambling about nothing a lot, I should get some extra dice or bonuses of some kind over other players, right? I really need to win this game Perry! What'ya got for me, babe, huh?"

Page 49 Stories Side e Dragons and Dungeons Daishains

Perry looks shocked at Velon, "You seriously took ALL fire spells for combat? Well that's fine I suppose for this encounter, but try to pick a better variety that do other things next time. And Velon, increasing your allies effectiveness or decreasing the enemies' can be really effective and fun too! It's a good way to help and support the others when the others are only good at fighting."

He continues, "Also, you can't bribe the Lair Master! This isn't one of those new-fangled games with the extra purchasable items. And just because you're the leader and do a lot of "Talking" about a lot of different things doesn't mean you should get in-game advantages over the others. Remember, this isn't a game about killing the most things or becoming the most powerful, it's about having fun with friends and telling a collaborative story. It's about storytelling man, storytelling! Get it together!"

"And since WHEN do you say the word babe, EVER?! How much have you had to drink? Do I need to fetch Lia?" Perry is getting annoyed with his disruptive player.

Stories Side e Dragons and Dungeons Daishains

"Well, how am I supposed to pick my spells unless I know exactly what every situation we're going to encounter is going to be like, Pery? Huh? Ox didn't come to fight or to explore or to detect traps or magic or anything, he came to make tents and big hands and chew bubblegum and take names and all of that!"

"Also, it's not a BRIBE, Perry. It's just paying more to help in the game. I think it's called "Pay to win". I heard other people doing it back at the tavern, although, maybe the guy in charge was saying "This isn't a game you can just pay to win"? I don't know, whatever Perry. It's just a game, man, jeez."

"Yeah, the story of Ox. Got it. I think we're good there. Agreed. Ox and all of his amazing individual achievements! HURRAH!"

"Lia? Ah, ok, look. I'll level with you, you don't need to call Lia. I drank a whole bottle of that whiskey from the supplies that just came on board the castle today, ok? I just worry all the time about any mistakes we might make that could get someone in the Blaze hurt, or worse, or cost us a mask or something. I never really thought of myself as a leader but we needed some and I hoped this would be easier but everyone is just so… ah, well, no, actually, it's really good… yeah, good. It's good. They're really, ah, "Creative" with their, ah "Plans". It's a really good thing. Ah, yeah."

"Anyway, can we go back to the story of Ox now?"

"What, I haven't let anyone else do anything yet? Fine, have the other characters go, but make it quick so we can get back to OX!"

Daishain's D&D 5e: Side Stories

Perry throws his hands up, stands up from the table, and glares angrily at Velon, "That's it, we're done here! You drank a whole bottle of whiskey the night before a big dragon fight and, more importantly, before my Lairs and Lizards game?! I understand a couple of drinks throughout the evening, but a whole bottle?!"

Perry shakes his head. "Look, I'm going back to my room and getting some rest in before tomorrow. I won't tell Lia, but I suggest you get out of here before she sees you hammered like this."

Perry sighs then walks off to his room. On his way he thinks to himself, "All I wanted to do was play a real game of Lairs and Lizards. I had such cool plot hooks and encounters planned too."

He feels really sad.

Daishain's D&D 5e Side Stories - Page 49

"Perry.... Perry! Where are you going? Ox, I mean the party, but really I just mean Ox, hasn't achieved all of the glory I had envisioned for him yet! You can't just leave! This isn't about you Perry, it's about ME! I need this, like, to be happy in my real life! I know I already have Lia, and way too many magic items, and I mean WAY too many, and I'm rich, and I'm part of a group that owns a flying castle, and a gold dragon gave me some of her power and all of that, but if Ox doesn't get to do exactly what I envisioned I don't know if I can go on! He hasn't even gotten to force Bilby's Big Hands into a few dozen situations where it doesn't belong yet! I've even come up with an elaborate plan for the party to acquire a strawberry rhubarb pie, Perry! It's AMAZING. It doesn't involve anyone else in the party, I'm not really going to explain it to them anyway, doesn't really accomplish much at all really, actually, but boy will Ox look cool. Maybe we could spend the next few sessions on it? Just offering it for consideration, Perry! I know you had stuff planned, but it can wait a few weeks, right?"

"Damn, I think he's gone."

-

Two days later, Perry awakes to find a note under his door.

"Dear Perry,

I'm really sorry I got drunk and ruined your Lairs and Lizards game. It was really nice of you to put a lot of effort into preparing all of that for us. I decided to steal a book from Lawrance's library about being a good L&L player. Have you seen that place, by the way? The library? It has books containing every fact ever in the history of our world! Lawrance has read all of them, too! Yeah, I know that doesn't make any sense at all, really, seems pretty impossible, really, but don't you worry about that little detail. Anyway, I read the book and it talked about things like not making the game all about me, not "Metagaming", whatever that is, and doing everything out of character, being a reliable player and showing up to play if I want anyone to involve me in the game, being descriptive about what my character is doing, thinking, feeling, and saying, only rolling the appropriate dice for the moment, not trying to save up rolls ahead of time but only if they're good, and much more. Oh, it also said I should maybe read the page about my class and my abilities before we play! It was really good. Do you think maybe everyone should read it before we play again?"

"Thanks Perry! I hope we're still friends and I can't wait to play some more Lairs and Lizards!"

-V.

Edited: Cinder on 2nd Jul, 2018 - 2:33pm

Daishain's D&D 5e Side Stories D&D / Pathfinder Archive - Page 49

Cratol keeps battering away at the big guy in hopes that he will defeat him. He is working on knocking the guy down too.