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Joke of the day - Page 5

One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a
defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license.

The instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was
crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session
began.

Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door.  The
officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?"

The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."

The officer let him in.

day the Joke

Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God
make you, Grandpa?"

"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.

A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me, too?"

"Yes, He did," the older man answered.

For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as

well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered

what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up.

"You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

Joke of the day Games Forum & Humor Jokes

QUOTE

Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me, too?" "Yes, He did," the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

ROTFLMAO.... That is TOO Funny... lol lol

Page 5 day the Joke

I'm glad that you liked the joke, Wanlorn.  :)  My mom sends me some really really good jokes everyday.  But I try to find the best ones to post in this thread.  :)

day the Joke

[CENTER]Getting Old
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING "MARVELOUSLY MATURE" WHEN.....[/center]

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear "snap, crackle, pop" and you're not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does..

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired

15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

24. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.

25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

Joke of the day

[center]Got any Gwapes?[/center]

A little duck walks into a bar one day. He saunters up to the bartender and asks, "Got any gwapes?" "Nope, sorry," says the bartender. The duck walks out, disappointed.

The next day, the duck walks into the bar again and asks, "Got any gwapes?" "I already told you, no, I don't!" says the bartender angrily. The duck leaves, again disappointed.

The day after that, the duck walks in again and says, "Got any gwapes?" "No! I do not have any grapes! If you come in here one more time asking for grapes I'll nail your feet to the floor!"

The next day, the duck waddles into the bar. The bartender eyes him suspiciously. "Got any nails?" the duck asks. "No, why?" the bartender asks. "Got any gwapes?"

Joke the day - Page 5

lol lol Wanlorn, those are really good.  ;D  I've got a joke to add as well.  :)

There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he
could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It
was an obsession.

One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out,
no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The
preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge
to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that
he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove
three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him.
Happily, he began to play the course.

An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed.
He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be
punished for what he is doing." God nodded in agreement.

The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and
it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup
three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect DOUBLE EAGLE!
He was amazed and excited.

The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging
Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him."

God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"

Joke the day Jokes Humor & Forum Games - Page 5

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"