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Joke of the day - Page 8

MAXIMS FOR THE INTERNET AGE!

Home is where you hang your @

A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

Great groups from little icons grow.

Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

C: is the root of all directories.

Don't put all your hypes in one home page.

Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

The modem is the message.

Too many clicks spoil the browse.

A chat has nine lives.

Don't byte off more than you can view.

Fax is stranger than fiction.

What boots up must come down.

Windows will never cease.

Virtual reality is its own reward.

Modulation in all things.

A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

There's no place like https://w ww.home.com

Know what to expect before you connect.

Oh, what a tangled Website we weave when first we practice html.

Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to use
the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

day the Joke

Relatives

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, donkeys, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep", the wife replied, "in-laws."

Joke of the day Games Forum & Humor Jokes

Dr. Seuss Explains
Why Computers Sometimes Crash

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless
and your system's gonna crash! ...

...If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the thing's gonna hang! ...

...When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory
and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
then quickly turn off the computer
and be sure to tell your Mom!

Page 8 day the Joke

"My Army invaded Kuwait and all I got was this lousy bumper sticker"  
"Dukakis-Bentsen in '92"  

"If you don't like the way I reign get out of small, neighboring countries"  

"Bomb me, I need the insurance"  

"Shi'ites happen"

day the Joke

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh
blood and parked herself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling her about where she got it.

She told them to knock it off and let her get some sleep
but they persisted until finally she gave in.

"OK, follow me," she said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind her.

Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally she slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around her.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" she asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"

Joke of the day

The Wash Cloth
I was due later in the week for an appointment with the gynecologist.

Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school and it was already around 8:45 am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure I was at least presentable.

I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.

Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

The rest of the day was normal...some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc.

After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles in it."

Joke the day - Page 8

The Old Prospector
The old prospector had never seen railroad tracks or trains before, having lived his whole life in the desert, so when he heard the train whistle it meant nothing to him. He didn't move out of the way. Fortunately it was only a glancing blow, but it did result in some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones and some bruises, requiring several weeks in the hospital to recover.

Back at his friend's house after being released from the hospital, he was in the kitchen when the teakettle started whistling. He immediately grabbed a bat from a nearby closet and bashed the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what has happened and asks the old prospector, "Why'd you do that to my teakettle?" The prospector replies with complete sincerity, "Because, ... you gotta kill them things when they're small."

Joke the day Jokes Humor & Forum Games - Page 8

Here is something for you that makes to much sence. You know that old adage of eany, meany, miney, moe? well here goes a twist to it.
Eany, meany, miney ,moe, catch a meal by the toe if it hollers let it go IT HASN'T BEEN COOKED YET.
Eany, meany, miney, moe, catch a meal by the toe if it hollers let it go ITS NOT FOOD. go put on your glasses you dummy. HAW HAW ha.