Well there are ways to allow her to still have the job and keep her safe. Making sure he does not have any contact with her is a good thing so she can be stress free and safer. IF he does try to have contact with her he can go rot in jail. Or have someone like me introduce him to the real facts of life.
The bad part is that I can't really predict what he will do in any situation. I used to and now I can't. It's resulted in him being abnormally nice and understanding in situations where he wouldn't gain the upperhand by doing so. Or him doing strange things.
The time she refused to come home and talk to him for three days resulted in pretty constant texts and calls. If she were to disappear I'm not confident that he wouldn't try to hunt her down. They aren't divorced yet and she's still trying to get the rest of her things from him, like her valuable belongings, so there's that. They live in a very low-income area and she's too prideful to go to a shelter. (She does live separate but it is a small town so they are still in the same area).
My father also had quite the criminal lifestyle before he met her and cleaned himself up so there's not a lot of tricks that he doesn't already know. He's very intelligent and crafty, but also beginning to look unstable.
The idea of a fund for her is kind of to give her a jumping-off point so she doesn't need to rely on him for food or anything else.
Yes I understand that. I know you want her to be safe. Having grown up in a small town I know how hard it is to remain safe there and still be free. Getting her stuff would not be hard if the right people assisted. I just hope that she can be free of him soon and safe away from him.
The hardest thing to overcome about abuse in a relationship is the victim thinking its just today and tomorrow it will get better or trying to give a reason for the abuse. Maybe even blaming themselves for the way the other person acts.
You know, my dad was an abusive type of person before his death, so some of this actually makes sense. I can remember having a dog that was very hard to housebreak and I witnessed him beating my dog horribly with a newspaper. I'm totally blind but I knew what was going on I can assure you. The noise was so violent that I had to cover my ears to try and drown out the sound, and when he was through and my mom came into the room after hearing all of this, my dad angrily said, I'm gonna shoot the [.] if he don't stop!. Sometimes, when he would play with me, he would act as though he were going to throw me by holding my one good leg in one hand and my arm in another and swing me back and fourth. Finally, after he had walked out on mom and I after being married for 27 years, this was back in 2005, mom began to cry and said, "If something ever happens to me, who's going to take care of my son?" he said calmly and in an uncaring tone, damned if I know let the state take care of him. Dad passed away last year though, and quite frankly, the only thing that I'm sad about is the whole lifetime's worth of opportunities he missed where I could've taught him so much about being blind but he just would not have it because he knew everything and everyone else was stupid and didn't know what they were talking about.
Hey there guys, sorry about the foul language in that last post. I realize you're not supposed to use that stuff here and believe me, under normal circumstances, I absolutely never speak like that. My dad's side of the family however, could place swear words at the most unusual of places in sentences even using them as commas. I am absolutely not making that up. But all of this does have a happy ending though. I have my loving mother and my beloved late grandmother to thank for bringing me up to be the gentleman that I am today and if it weren't for them, I don't know how I'd have turned out. The thought scares the hek out of me actually. Grandma didn't live with us either just to be clear, she was just a very important part of my life growing up. Finally, I'd like to let absolutely everyone know who is in an abusive relationship that you do not have to stand for that sort of filthy dirty treatment. Do you understand me? You can break free from this, you can get help you run you do what ever it takes to get away from that sort of foolishness. You're better people than that. Any man who hits his wife in anger or dominance is a coward. No questions asked. Same goes for women as well. We just don't go around beating each other up when we get angry. Now please understand, I'm by no means a psychologist, I don't even have a college degree and didn't really want one, nor am I married, not too sure I really want that either to be honest not with the world in the shape it's in today but I do know that abuse is wrong and it can be stopped and the abuser can and should be brought to justice if the abuse is bad enough. That's my two cents for what it's worth. I hope you all have a wonderful day and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
That's big on you sharing your past abuse mate. I know what that's like, living around people that are abusive but for them they are perfectly normal, they don't see themselves as abusive. A lot of times they may even see themselves as victims because they have to put up with your presence and they don't fail to remind you. The only thing you can do is get away from such people because no matter how strong you are their words cut away at you slowly but surly until you reach a depressed state.
I've noticed that people who have a habit of abusing others are usually unhappy with their own lives in some serious way. Or they have a feeling of powerlessness in the majority of their lives so they explode on their kids (Or others who they have responsibility over) and it becomes a power trip of sorts. The source of unhappiness of the abuser can be from relationships, financial, career wise etc.. The solution would be for said person to find something that really makes them feel fulfilled in life. And while they are figuring that out they shouldn't be allowed to have responsibility over others.