Comments: My Trini boyfriend has been like no other American I've dating. He treats me with nothing but respect. I was surprised how he still holds doors open for me, always cares about my feelings and is proactive and supportive to help me reach my goals. He has good morals and nothing but love for his family. He does call people out on their BS which I don't see as a bad thing cause he keeps it real and honest. Honesty is definitely a plus. Cook amazing food for your Trini man and you'll win over his heart. Show true love and commitment and you'll see the best of him. I know I always do.
I'm Mexican-American & I love my Trini man!
To the above comment posted by Victoria you have certainly made my case for why Trinidadian men should look to foreign lands when it comes to finding a lady. I am not saying that all women here are bad but there are some not worth even considering in my opinion at all. By the way that is exactly the way I will act with any foreign lady I am with which means that I will act like a proper gentleman.
Getting back to the topic as a Trinidadian man and of course proud to be one let me speak of both the pros and cons of Trinidadian men:
1. The Bad side of Trini men:
A. Cultural myopia: By this I mean that some Trini men do not know how to relate to the outside world. Have you ever heard a Trini man with his heavy accent try to talk to someone say from North America? As a Trini man I can tell you that it sounds like scratching one's fingernails on a chalkboard.
In other words some lack the ability to adapt and adjust culturally to people outside in that they cannot even put aside their heavy accents and speak in an understandable way for an outside foreigner to be able to understand them.
I have spoken to foreigners when they come here and they are usually surprised at how I am able to speak with them and how I am able to relate with them. Yes I know when to use my heavy accent but I also know when to drop it and become culturally adaptable and adjustable when I need to be. It is something that some tend to lack here in Trinidad.
B. Vices: Trinidadian men are given over too many times to vices. They think it is okay to become addicted to some addictive substances. Somehow they think that this validates their manhood. Yeah Right!
The only thing that makes one a man is maturity and not showing the immaturity of being addicted to addictive devices and substances. For example alcohol, etc
C. The "Bad Boy" Complex: Some men think that being "bad" is being "good" but the thing about being a "bad boy" is that usually bad things tend to follow those who want to be "bad boys." Just a side note and that is that some women in our society seek out these 'bad boys" because they believe that they can "tame" them and their wild sides. However what they fail to realize is that a whole lot of bad trouble can come with bad boys because behind the bad boy image might not be something all that good that one is truly looking for.
D. Fathering children and not taking up their responsibilities as real men: Yes indeed this can be a big problem where some men have children with some women but then become absent as fathers for the children that they have fathered with a woman or even women that they have been with. They may even make false promises of marriage and so on to women that they are only interested in using sadly as a toy and as their own personal play thing. It is a total shame that some men treat women like that in this country. This does not show manhood at all but shows how meaningless they are as real men.
Again on a side note let me say to any woman reading this that you must not offer yourself physically to any man who makes promises to you but cannot make those promises come true. Men and this goes for Trini men when they want something from a woman they will make promises to her. It is the oldest strategy in the book and so be smart and do not fall for it at all ladies. Let the man show you that he keeps his word first and then let other things take their rightful course.
2. The Good side of Trini men:
A. A Fighting Spirit: One thing I can say about Trini men is that they know how to fight to survive in the society. They know how to battle through circumstances and fight until they get through them. It seems at times that they have an indomitable spirit that cannot be easily subdued. This is what I have seen in some rural areas mind you since I am from one of these areas.
B. Endurance: One thing I can say also is that some men despite personal storms know how to endure and outlast their storms. This is something that is a hallmark and a wonderful testament of the character of Trinidadian men that I must also indeed speak about with great pride.
These are just a few of the traits that I have found with Trinidadian men as a whole.
Edited: IToldYou on 14th Jul, 2012 - 4:49am
Comments: I don't think you can put it all in a nutshell but here are some things I find similar that I like and don't like. First the things I LIKE:
- Trini men tend not to be fussy about things
- They can make some good jokes
- They can be terrific in the bedroom
Things I don't like,
- Trini men can be sneaky about the extra hours
- They are never on time!
- They don't understand that women have needs
It is good to have the Trinidadian female perspective on this topic however my previous comments were not about putting anything into a "nutshell" because they were not about "nuts" or "shells" mind you but facts from a Trinidadian man's perspective who knows how Trinidadian men think since I happen to be one of them: Let me say this then:
1. I disagree that Trini men are not fussy because I have met Trinidadian men who are in fact fussy (though not all).
2. About the jokes side of Trinidadian men let me say that they do have a sense of humor however some tend to go overboard at times and some jokes can indeed lack decency or be in good taste. Though the sense of humor of Trini men is still to be appreciated of course but not all outsiders might be able to understand it of course if it deals with certain cultural aspects that they are not accustomed to or might be well acquainted with.
3. As for the fact that Trini men are not punctual I can tell you that this is not the case with every man here in Trinidad because I know of one man every Sunday reaches at his particular place of destination at 7:00 a.m. Sharp while the Trinidadian women who are supposed to also arrive at that place end up coming late and much later in time than this Trinidadian man.
4. There are Trinidadian men who do understand women and their needs. I happen to be one of them because I happen to be a gentleman of great sensitivity and I assure you there are more like me out there.
However with my negative experiences with Trinidadian women here I have determined to apply my gentleman side to genuine foreign women instead (though this does not mean that I will disrespect Trinidadian women) but it means that genuine foreign women will be the major beneficiaries of my gentleman disposition when it comes to forming a relationship connection with someone.
I have found that women here are more looks challenged than character observant. In order words they prefer looks over observing someone's character. There are good men who may not have looks here in this country but for certain they have a good character. For those men like me with good characters who are serious about a relationship connection I advise that they look outside of Trinidad for a relationship where their character will be taken seriously in being able to treat a woman right even though they may not have all the looks to go along with the package.
For example Russian and Ukrainian women are known to not go for looks all the time because they are more interested in quality of treatment in a relationship rather than just looks alone because in their societies they have had good looking men who have mistreated them or even physically abused them. Some are even known to marry men 15-20 years older than them because they think these men are are much more mature than their younger counterparts.
In conclusion let me say that there are good men here who may not come in that "handsome" package that you are looking for but if you are more conscious of their character you will be able to find real gold in the midst of all that pretends to look or glitter like if it is indeed truly gold. :D
Edited: IToldYou on 5th Aug, 2012 - 3:55am
Title: Trini Men
Comments: I have met a Trini [man] about 3 months ago. He jokes a lot and comments also -- very caring and supportive in my health and reaching my weight lost goal -- very supportive but the only thing disturb me [was his being] cheap -- he always says [he has] financial problems -- every time we go out - I do ended up paying but yet he goes and spend money to buy for his family--his a great lover - have a great job -- but what to do for been so cheap?
Title: Honesty in Trinidadian Men
Comments: Personally, I do love a man from Trinidad. I love him because for one reason, he is honest. We have been at this for over 2 years. He has many great qualities. But, I believe, that the most important to him is his"Work ethic." He works everyday and he works hard. I'll also say, he plays hard. He loves women and has many friends. He entertains them. This does bother me at times, but he will always have my back.
What can I say. We are not looking for kids or settling down, but to enjoy life. I am a white American woman confident that I am enjoying my life. I am a realist.
Comments: It all depends on the individual, family customs including his home environment, ability to change and accept new challenges with his level of education. He is family oriented and usually has good work ethics. His home environment at a young age sets the pattern as he ages into manhood. Also, his relationship to his mother and father influences how he communicates to others as his family teachings is usually carried throughout his life. Thus, one man may choose to leave his woman at home and hang out with his friends while the other may stay home with his family..Society determines what is appropriate/acceptable behavior. So, the Trinidadian man is an individual thing.
Title: My Trinidadian man
Comments: I am a black African American woman and I am currently seeing a Trinidadian Man. We are both in he same line of work. The comments are true about them speaking their minds and being incredibly funny. He is always making me laugh every time we are on the phone and when we are together he always pay for everything every time. So selfish I would not say oh and he is a wonderful lover I mean the [intimacy] is amazing. I have told him how I feel about him and we are always joking about having children and what things would be like if we were to get married but he has yet to tell me how he feel I don't know where we stand with each other. I would hate to ask Him. Because I think it's too early but I really just want to know if there is a future for us. Like I said I really like him but I don't want to mess things up by being to forward. We are both at a point in our careers where we are very busy except on weekends but he does make time ....... What should I say? What should I do? Should I just let things play them self out and see or should I ask? Oh an I have yet to see a mean streak from him and he is I guess that 1% of Trinidadian men that are good to their woman and is not selfish.
We break from What is Best and Worst about Trini Men? to share educational moment from the journals of some good thinker:
Today is: 14th November (GMT), in history on the 14th of November, 1522 AD the following death happened:
Anne de Beaujeu: Daughter of French King Louis XI, dies at 61