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Responsibility? - Page 2

I am a: Parent

My oldest son used to take toys from school and church.  We didn't notice it at first, not until we finally realized the strange looking toys that suddenly appeared in kid's play room were not "given by visitors long time ago", those were toys he took from church or school.  By the time my husband and I found out, he was already taking toys from WalMart.  He was just 5 years old!  Luckily we caught him at WalMart (we were lucky to catch him at the first time, that's such an important lesson for him!) and made him apologize to the cashier.  (We wanted to pay for the toy he opened but the cashier said it's alright.  If we would have to pay for it, we would make him work to pay us back.  That's the consequence.)

I agree with LDS, sometimes kids lie to avoid punishment.  When I was younger I was quite a trouble maker for my mom.  As I think back, I was never allowed to have my own stuffs for a long time, and to get what I wanted, I figured I had to "get" it myself, and of course I couldn't let my mom know.  She was very strict on me.  So when I found out my son's misbehavior.  I realized there's something I have to change.  I need to listen to his needs and wants and provide him a home with clearer structure and rules to follow.  That was what my husband I did.  Ever since that WalMart event, we supervised him closely and whenever he got toys from school or church, we reasoned with him and explained why it is bad to do this.  He was still lying and trying to get away with it at first, later, for a few times, he would burst into tears for the fear of our punishment without being able to say a word.  But we never punished after the WalMart event, simply reasoned with him and restate the rule in the house and told him how much we love him, we know he can do better and if he really wants something, he can come to us and we can try to work out a plan to keep all of us satisfied.  He finally quit a few weeks later.  Pheeew..
Well, we were very worried because he was the oldest child.  When he was stealing things, he coaxed his younger siblings into doing stuffs with him.  But the younger siblings were not smart enough to cover for him, they soon came to us to show off their candies and toys.  (Gocha!) Anyway, the good thing is, my son now whenever he wants something, he'll check with us even though we are not around and won't find out if he does something we don't like afterwards.  I hope he'll keep being the good example to his brother and sister.

Responsibility

Miss, I only mentioned what parents may do differently for their children but I forgot one other possiblity in your situation.  I just want to say, I don't know how long you and your daughter's father has been away from each other.  (If I understand your message wrong I apologize for it.  Since I don't have enough time to go through everything that has been posted on the forum... ) Sometimes kids act out because they want to get their parents together as well.  It takes time for them to get used to their life too.  Keep hanging there.

Responsibility? Reviews Consumer & Travel Family Culture

No chener, that's fine.  I believe you did read my post correctly.  ;)  I do appreciate you sharing your own experiences with me so I can use some of your knowledge as well as LDS' and Farseer's words of wisdom.  ;)

My child's father and I have been separated since before birth.  He drops in and out of her life from time to time, but hasn't been a steady constant.  I am hanging in there.  She has gotten a little better, but still acts up, but not as bad as she has in the past.

Thanks again for your words of wisdom.  ;)  Take care

~Nadine~