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Friends Anyone? - Page 3

This has been a good thread to think about. I think my definition of 'friend' has changed over the years, and has even been modified recently. I used to use the term 'friend' loosely and considered many people to be my 'friend.' This turned out to be to my detriment.

1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you?

For me, a friend is someone who cares about me and is a healthy person for me to be friends with. I like variety in friends, so I don't have to have a lot of things in common necessarily for someone to be my friend, and I like learning about new things from friends with different experiences than me. Also, trust and loyalty are important to me as it seems to be for everyone.

2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates?

I think that I do, but I still need to better understand the boundaries that others want to have and the one's that I want to have. In my opinion, boundaries are important to have for myself and important to respect in others. Those two sets of boundaries can get confusing at times, at least for me, and I am working on improving that. Associates are people that I don't know very well usually, and I am learning that associates are also those that I do know but do not interact a lot with much, unlike friends.

3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa?

In my opinion a friend can definitely be demoted to an associate, and an associate can become a friend under the 'right' conditions and depending upon the circumstances.

4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above?

I don't think so. It would be nice to interact with an animal, especially if it seemed to understand me at all and/or responded in a way that I could interpret or understand. In my opinion, a monkey just does not have the skills needed to have a friendship with, according to my definition of friend.

Who decides who is a friend and who is not? In other words, is a friend a person who fits the dictionary term for 'friend' or is it based on your definition? If someone wants to be your friend and you choose not, is the person still a friend to you?

I agree with a lot of the previous answers that I am the one who decides, but I only get to decide for myself who is a friend. I do not get to decide for someone else if I am a friend in their mind or not.

I have learned that not only is everyone not my friend, not everyone is a wise choice for me to want a friendship with. I feel that this reasoning is for my well-being and overall mental and emotional health.

Anyone Friends

1) Friend to me is like someone who has been there for me through thick and thin. I respect them and trust them and in turn they do the same.

2) Friends are there for you when you need them, associate are there because they have to be or have nothing better to do.

3) Of course, if a friend of mine oes something I don't like I would not speak to them and they would become an associate, sure they could always become a friend again though. As for associates becoming friends, how do you think friends start out, they are first associates that relate to you well enough and become closer. (That's also how friends become more than friends .)

4) Of course friends aren't base on language or race or species, it's based on caring for one another, respecting, and even trusting one another. There are plenty of animals people would consider friends. For an example "man's best friend."

Friends Anyone? Health & Special Psychology

1) A friend is someone I can count of for a favor even if it is inconveniet for them. Someone I can depend on and someone I can stand to be around. (So far nobody but family has fit the mold). Animals cannot be held to the same standard as people in my opinion, for animals only the last two criteria apply.
2)Friends are people you WANT to be with, associates are people you HAVE to be with.
3) Friends can be estranged from each other just as lovers can, if one moves away and they are separated then they will naturally communicate less and find others to pick up the slack. Friendships need to be maintained and if that doesn't happen then friends will drift apart.
4)Monkeys can be your friends, I provided a clause in my definition to make sure of it . But seriously, even animals can do you favors. My cat used to bring me mice that she had caught as a gift even though I know that she would like them better. I imagine monkeys can do just as well or better.

I definitely choose my friends, I don't care what the dictionary says. And just because somebody calls me their friend doesn't mean I have to reciprocate. I am still his friend- I cannot change his perception of me and if he likes me that well then more power to him.
-Unferth

Page 3 Anyone Friends

A friend cannot be chosen if you ask me. I believe that the best friends just sort of fall into your lap. Even if you wanted to get rid of your friends if they were truly your friends in your heart then its not very easy.

Anyone Friends

... very true.

1. A friend, to me, is someone who I can count on in my time of need, and vice versa, I'd be there for that person in their time of need. Being interested in the same things is important, but also a different view now and then can make both parties grow. A friend calls sometimes just to see how the other is doing, and knows exactly how to bring the other person up when they're down.
2. For a long time in my life, I considered my "partying friends" my real friends, but I quickly realized when I left that group to have my son, what "friends" I had left. I don't mind having three or four really good friends, and now I realize the distinction.
3. As mentioned above, yes... friends and associates can be switched.
4. I do agree that man's best friend could be substituted here, so yes.

As for the "choosing friends part", during my early years, my mother felt she could choose my friends for me, and I hate to say it, but the bad apples she called out, were the bad apples in the long run. I have been able to take those examples with me on my own and have been able to find a few decent friends along the way.

Friends Anyone?

Renee said:

I think that is a terrific point to bring up, that we are really the only ones who can choose our own friends -- even if they turn out to not be good friends, eventually. Parents (most of the time) know what they are talking about regarding the "bad apples" as you put it, and as youth we all tend to ignore that advice (much to our own detriment, sometimes).

As far as quality over quantity -- yes! That's exactly how it should be. I really don't like having a dozen "would-be" friends that let me down a lot. I prefer to have a few solid friends I know I can count on -- and that can count on me.

Roz

Offtopic but, This reminds me of my mother's funny little saying: "You can pick your own friends, you can pick your own nose, but you can't pick your own friend's nose." (Ew.)

Friends Anyone - Page 3

# 1 a friend is someone you can talk to and trust and care about they help you threw your hard times

# 2 an associate is a person you work with you have no choice but to talk to them yeah in the long road you might become close friends its just like when you where in school you had to talk to the students but you did not have to like them but after awhile you did like them for who they where not who they where trying to act like


# 3 it just depends on what they had done to where I did not talk to them like I have one the had stole from me and I stoped talking to her so now she is an associate now and I don't think I will ever talk to her again


# 4 a friend can be any animal like my cat is my best friend when I am sad I grab my cat and start talking to him I know crazy he cant talk back but thats also a good thing cause he cant go tell anyone else your problems so yes if I was a jungle I would be come close friends with a monkey

Friends Anyone Psychology Special & Health - Page 3

I am continually amazed at how people hurt others either physically, mentally, or spiritually and yet they consider these same people 'Friends'. I believe the case here is no longer if you have friends, but how is your own self-esteem?