|Rather off topic, but...|
Great pic, see comments in your Intro Thread (the first Post you made here)
Contrary to popular belief, women do not enjoy being sexually harassed by men. I am not sure where people got that idea from! I think some women feel embarrassed and may express it in different ways; for example, some women may giggle to conceal fear or embarrassment, whenever they feel uncomfortable in certain situations. But trust me, as a woman, I can safely say that we do not enjoy being sexual harassed!
Men who sexually harass women are not necessarily "the drug lord" or "vagrant" type. Unfortunately, I have been a victim to sexual harassment at work and all from top level management! These situations were upsetting as well as disgusting and I have chosen to leave jobs and even decline promotions because of it. Initially, I used to feel depressed about my decision to leave the job but nowadays, I am proud of myself. Why? Because I have the courage to stand up for myself and loudly say "NO" to these perverts. Unfortunately, some women do not have this luxury since they are the sole bread winner and therefore, are forced to endure this emotional and physical torture!
I believe men who sexually harass women have insecurity issues, marital problems or are unable to engage in a normal relationship with women. The men who have sexually harassed me were the ones who were intimidated by my beauty and intelligence. Men who sexually harass women use this as a last resort to gain control over women by treating them like sex objects. Unfortunately, some of the men who have sexually harassed some friends of mine were also married men on the verge of divorcing their wives or having "ahem" intimate problems! It is also interesting to note that sometimes men who sexually harass women have problems in engaging in normal relationships with women! Perhaps this may stem from how they were socialized when they were young. Poor examples were set for them or they never had any proper role models. However, we should never say that sexual harassment is becoming worse in Trinidad since this problem is like a disease that keeps spreading to all countries!
As a young woman In Trinidad I have to say that the same cat calling has different effects on me depending on the time of day,even if the location in the same.I never like it and I was raised to know that it is disrespectful.Somehow,however,during the day,walking down the street etc. when I hear the unfortunate 'redddddds',I can nod and walk away briskly.In the night however,it is a different game ,many a times it is an awkward uncomfortable line women are forced to toe in order to not seem 'disrespectful' and fuel further harassment and yet simultaneously show that they are not condoning the sick behavior or inviting any active pursuit.For example,inside clubs ...I have seen women hounded by groups of boys for steupsing at their 'lines'.Quite frankly,trini girls move in huge packs now as a method of protection.What is surprising is how it is present in every social sector of society,You go to the market,cat calls,Inside zen,people won't leave you alone unless you have an army of male friends.You go to the bank and the teller cannot have a conversation with you without resorting to the words "babyface'',dou dou etc.
Compounding the problem further is the foreign influence. Trinidad used to have a strong pecong culture. If someone called you 'reds' or 'dougla',you could say" why yuh don't hush up yuh mouth" or something. Now,you can't even defend your dignity without fear of physical assualt. The entire culture is changing because of the aggression,call to arms and disrespect of women , young men are absorbing from stupid american music.
Look at this fool Akon,and what is worse,carrying on to the applause of the crowd as he shamelessly violates this girl.''Smack that",that is not a Trinidadian culture motif,we were much more of a "meh lover" society with respect to men's treatment of women ten years ago than we are now.
Nicky, good points. But I think some women in Trinidad need to realize that the way they behave sometimes calls indirectly for that type of behavior from men and some (even like it!). I am shocked sometimes while walking and seeing the kind of clothing some girls wear, and the flirting going on...not to mention Carnival and the winning thing. It's disgusting. Trinidad is a very sexualized place, I am not sure if Trinis see it that way.
Of course, all these things do not justify the pathetic behavior of some men..nevertheless, a lot of times girls seem to enjoy the attention.
As a married woman with two kids, I just cannot comprehend when a man tells me something while walking with my own son! or what is even worst, when I was pregnant!.
Hello Nicky! I read your post and I kept nodding my head in agreement since I understand your frustration. You have raised some very interesting points. I like the one in particular about the "pecong culture" in Trinidad.
Whenever you hear these "cat calls" or name calling "redddds" just keep your head straight, walk briskly and ignore them. If you choose to respond, the name calling will continue. If strangers are bold enough to approach you and say "Good morning beautiful," politely respond and walk quickly away. Avoid eye contact too. In my experience, if you politely respond and give eye contact, some of these men think that is an invitation to do more.
|You go to the bank and the teller cannot have a conversation with you without resorting to the words "babyface'',dou dou etc.|
I would say that Geenie's advice is good, however, if I were a woman and got that kind of response from a bank teller then there would be two things I would have to ask myself:
1. What am I doing, saying or wearing that gives him 'authority' to address me like that?
2. Do I plan to bank there again?
Now I am not saying that any woman can be called whatever regardless of their appearance, but at the same time I have seen women dress like hookers and then expect respect.
Yes, I do know that regardless of how descent women dress in Trinidad they will be harassed. However, if you know mosquitoes are around you do not spray yourself with sugar water.
Here is another thing that I wish to approach WITHOUT continuing it further: shows like the Akon concert given the ignorant men among us the feeling that ALL Trini women are like that. The Akon Thread can be Discussed here: https://www.bordeglobal.com/foruminv/index....showtopic=23371
I have to agree that there is an element of women encouraging what would be called sexual harassment in other countries.
In offices for example the level of conversation introduced by women leaves a lot to be desired.
I would extend sexual harassment to the type of language used in my presence. To give a recent example, I was in Homes Roti Shop on Western Main Road on Sunday and a man walked in using the worst language. This was without any apparent reason. The gentleman behind me was with his son and he complained.
I cannot remember how long since I heard someone else seem to have a problem with language.
When I was younger, men would see a woman and apologise if there was any such "slip up" in language in front of a woman or a child. Now the women and children use extremely grafic language in reference to women's parts and all without any provocation.
Why then will men feel it necessary to apologise.
Additionally, is it sexual arassment when women abuse men by using the same type of catcalls that we women complain about?
In one of my last visits to the doctor (just a couple of weeks ago) while I was pregnant, I was walking down the road when a man started making sounds with his mouth in order to get my attention. I did not look at him but he shouted from where he was "Hey, sexy belly!" and some sort of non-sense after that. I was disgusted, I was there, trying to walk slowly because my belly was so big and lose balance quickly and these SICKOS do not have even respect for a pregnant woman! This is to show you the mentality that these fellas have here. No shame at all!